Jokes for today

[Bluto10]

a crab walks into a bar givin it all this …

[Cambridge Red]

Difference between a fridge and a fanny ?

Fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

[Studebaker-90]

Just now, Cambridge Red said:

Difference between a fridge and a fanny ?

Fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

Not anymore anyway 

[Cambridge Red]

1 minute ago, Studebaker-90 said:

Not anymore anyway 

I completely forgot we've got a poster with that name then remembered the second I pressed submit reply 🤣

[Cambridge Red]

56 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

We don’t. 

I'm really sorry. I didn't know he had passed away. I feel really shit now.

[Cambridge Red]

1 minute ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Don’t be daft. Ol’ Fridge would have a chuckle at that.Either that or he’d get his tough mate to stove your face 

Thanks for putting my mind at rest, gonna call it a day now.

[RAZOR]

How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Tickle it's balls

Where do you go when you're dying?

The living room

[muttonhumper]

15 hours ago, YorkDon said:

What’s the difference between jam & marmalade? You can’t marmalade your cock up your wife’s arse.

My wife would beg to differ.

[YorkDon]

1 hour ago, muttonhumper said:

My wife would beg to differ.

Most guys would just spit on it.

[The Boofon]

9 hours ago, Cambridge Red said:

Thanks for putting my mind at rest, gonna call it a day now.

Fridge said that too. 

[JumboJET]

"Alfred the Great" may well be the greatest monarch in history. Much better than "Richard the Goat Fucker".

[perthshirered]

What dae ye dae if ye find a trumpet growing in yer garden? 

Root-it-oot

[Don Fonte]

Why did so many people die in Auschwitz?

[Jocky Balboa]

On 11/2/2023 at 5:34 PM, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

I used to watch a few paedo hunter videos on YouTube (Shane Brannigan, GOTN, etc.).

I stopped watching them after a while as the paedos they apprehended got next to fuck all when up before the beaks in court.

Stinson Hunter is still on the go, apparently. The video of him on Philip Schofield's show is priceless. 🤔😲

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

6 minutes ago, Jocky Balboa said:

Stinson Hunter is still on the go, apparently. The video of him on Philip Schofield's show is priceless. 🤔😲

I'll make a point of watching that video, JB. Thanks for the heads up. It'll be nice to see that filthy kiddie groomer squirm. 

[Edwin Starr]

Double post 

 

[Edwin Starr]

[Ke1t]

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Hard to say, but the flag's a big plus. 

[Jocky Balboa]

17 hours ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

I'll make a point of watching that video, JB. Thanks for the heads up. It'll be nice to see that filthy kiddie groomer squirm. 

He's nearly in tears as Stinson relays his methods of nonce-catching, as it relates to groomers. 🤔😲https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NX02EszAdZw&pp=ygUfU3RpbnNvbiBIdW50ZXIgUGhpbGlwIFNjaG9maWVsZA%3D%3D

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

2 hours ago, Jocky Balboa said:

He's nearly in tears as Stinson relays his methods of nonce-catching, as it relates to groomers. 🤔😲https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NX02EszAdZw&pp=ygUfU3RpbnNvbiBIdW50ZXIgUGhpbGlwIFNjaG9maWVsZA%3D%3D

Aye min, you're spot on.

To overcome his squirming and awkward posture when interviewing Shane Brannigan, he resorts to using high-pitched dialogue which, in turn, acts as a defensive mechanism for him to get through the interview.

Filthy, vile fucker.

[Edwin Starr]

[BrianFaePerth]

That’s exactly how eh imagine you look buc.

[Parklife]

1 minute ago, BrianFaePerth said:

That’s exactly how eh imagine you look buc.

Imagining other posters 

[sheepcrooky]

What’s black and white and sat in the corner for 5 years?
Ian Durrant’s football boots. 

[styrofoamplates]

Some good ones here

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/1822199/rangers-aberdeen-fernando-ricksen-forum-club-1872/

[styrofoamplates]

21 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

I bought one of those universal remote controls.

Changes everything.

Loved Climie Fisher 

[sigh]

1 minute ago, styrofoamplates said:

Loved Climie Fisher 

preferred Carrie Fisher

[Clydeside_Sheep]

On 11/2/2023 at 2:48 PM, Poodler said:

Do you know what happens to a jew when he walks into a brick wall with an erection? 
 

he breaks his nose 

Why do Jews have big noses?

Because air is free.

[BrianFaePerth]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Found it hard to zoom in on the posts. The Sun however repeats the posts in large type so that all can read them. 😂 

I mind when that happened and the cunts were going on about a photo on your Twitter account that wasn’t even you. 😂

Sick Dons fans.

[Bluto10]

9 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Sick Dons fans.

Smelly Dundee fans