Jokes for today

[BrianFaePerth]

13 minutes ago, Bluto10 said:

Smelly Dundee fans

Dons fan that can’t hold his drink and shits himself

[Edwin Starr]

12 hours ago, BrianFaePerth said:

That’s exactly how eh imagine you look buc.

Lol not quite Brian.

[Misers Hill]

10 hours ago, styrofoamplates said:

Loved Climie Fisher 

That's fabulous 👌🤣.

[Misers Hill]

8 hours ago, Bluto10 said:

Smelly Dundee fans

Smelly Shitty Skittery Man U fans🤔

Err fucking worse ....👽

[Bluto10]

5 minutes ago, Misers Hill said:

Smelly Shitty Skittery Man U fans🤔

Err fucking worse ....👽

not as bad/lol as pool players

[Misers Hill]

1 minute ago, Bluto10 said:

not as bad/lol as pool players

🤡

[Arthur FN Shelby]

Two cows in a field.

first one ‘ what do you think of this mad cow disease then? ‘
 

second one ‘ don’t ask me I’m a duck.’ 

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

11 hours ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Halcyon days 

Yours truly on top form 

It says the matter was in the hands of the police? Did it ever go any further?

Comedy is just an expression of free speech imo.

They may not like it, it may be in poor taste but it’s a foundation of our democracy. Can’t be arresting someone over a wee joke ffs.

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

Ha, hasta la vista el plod!

A good perk of living abroad for the likes of you, Poodler and Kelt.

[Jocky Balboa]

2 hours ago, Ohjimmyjimmy said:

It says the matter was in the hands of the police? Did it ever go any further?

Comedy is just an expression of free speech imo.

They may not like it, it may be in poor taste but it’s a foundation of our democracy. Can’t be arresting someone over a wee joke ffs.

Without wanting to engage in whataboutery, or wish that awful disease on anyone, but Ricksen was an absolute cunt of a human being, the type whom you just know would have regularly made fun of people in similar predicaments when he was a Hun. 

[Poodler]

2 hours ago, Ohjimmyjimmy said:

Ha, hasta la vista el plod!

A good perk of living abroad for the likes of you, Poodler and Kelt.

The long arm of the law can’t touch you but over zealous moderating sure can. The days of controversy are long gone for the hat but at least we really lived it for a while. Bbc news 😂

[maryhilldon]

12 hours ago, Clydeside_Sheep said:

Why do Jews have big noses?

Because air is free.

Copper wire was invented when 2 jews fought over a 1p

[sheepcrooky]

13 hours ago, Arthur FN Shelby said:

Two cows in a field.

first one ‘ what do you think of this mad cow disease then? ‘
 

second one ‘ don’t ask me I’m a duck.’ 

9 cows in a field.

Which one is from the Middle East?
 

Coo 8. 
 

[sheepcrooky]

Just now, sheepcrooky said:

9 cows in a field.

Which one is from the Middle East?
 

Coo 8. 
 

10 cows in a field. 
Which one is on holiday?
 

The one with the wee calf. 

[JumboJET]

How did the blind and deaf guy come to realise he had been near a weegie?

He had been robbed, raped, and anywhere within 50 square metres smelled like shit.

[sheepcrooky]

Where do you take a deaf girl on holiday?
 

BALLATER

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

On 11/9/2023 at 10:46 AM, Sooper-hanz said:

I bought one of those universal remote controls.

Changes everything.

Preferred Rise to the Occasion.👍

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

What do you call a bonny Pakistani male?

Asif.

[Bebo]

15 hours ago, Ohjimmyjimmy said:

It says the matter was in the hands of the police? Did it ever go any further?

Comedy is just an expression of free speech imo.

They may not like it, it may be in poor taste but it’s a foundation of our democracy. Can’t be arresting someone over a wee joke ffs.

Nope. We weren't even contacted.

[milne_afc]

23 minutes ago, Bebo said:

Nope. We weren't even contacted.

You got any record of the Nat Fraser planning permission prank?

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

49 minutes ago, Bebo said:

Nope. We weren't even contacted.

The Sun newspaper lying? Now, there's a first.🙄

[JumboJET]

Who is Duk's favourite author?

J.G. Mallard (instead of Ballard because he's Duck)

[bonzodaddy73]

What do you call Pakistani guy works in a microwave oven factory

Pding

[Parklife]

How do you turn a duck in to a souls singer? 
 

Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers. 

[sigh]

whats the name if the Scottish sihk karaoke singer?

G'upty Sihng

[JumboJET]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

What’s Duk’s favourite train? 

Stephenson's Ducket

[The Boofon]

1 hour ago, milne_afc said:

You got any record of the Nat Fraser planning permission prank?

Classic. 

 

 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

1 hour ago, Parklife said:

How do you turn a duck in to a souls singer? 
 

Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers. 

Very good, young Parky.👍

What's Bill Withers' best funeral song?

Lovely Day.

[Simply Red]

What do you call a chinese doorbell engineer?

Ding Dong

[milne_afc]

What do you call a chinky paedo?

 

Lolf Hallis