Films

[BrianFaePerth]

Padre.

 

Tim Roth plays a padre who goes on the run with a young girl. Incredibly he doesn’t fuck her but I guess that’s because it’s a girl over the age of 13.

 

Decent watch. 7.5/10

Thought this was to do with Dad at first. It could be his autobiography

[The Boofon]

Thought this was to do with Dad at first. It could be his autobiography

Wrong thread stinky. It’s Books you’re after for that.

[tiktak]

Cold Pursuit

 

Not one for the snowflakes, starring as it does Hollywood's latest "racist" hate figure Liam Neeson. I didn't realise when I went that it would be a Coen Bros type surrealist, dark humour farce. Thought it was going to be a standard revenge mission ala Taken. Anyhow, I enjoyed it enough though it's no classic. Not enough humour to pass as a Coen and the script also falls short of that standard. No idea how it stands up against the Norwegian original cos I ain't seen that.

[Jocky Balboa]

Direct result from ram raiding other men's back passages.

 

So I think the moral of the film, the message if you will.

 

Don't be a poof.

Aye, he partied hard and fast, then got the Anally Inflicted Death Sentence.

 

Live by the pork sword...

[tiktak]

Serenity

 

The synopsis will say it's about a tourist fishing boat captain who is asked by his ex-wife to take her current hubby out to sea and get rid of him. So that's what it is about - only it's not, not at all, cos there's also a twist in the story and the fucking twist is that it's about something else entirely which if I'd known I would never have watched it in the first place. 

[The Buzzard]

Serenity

 

The synopsis will say it's about a tourist fishing boat captain who is asked by his ex-wife to take her current hubby out to sea and get rid of him. So that's what it is about - only it's not, not at all, cos there's also a twist in the story and the fucking twist is that it's about something else entirely which if I'd known I would never have watched it in the first place.

Any tits? Looked promising from the trailer that Anne Hathaway was getting seen to a couple of times.

[tiktak]

Any tits? Looked promising from the trailer that Anne Hathaway was getting seen to a couple of times.

 

Any tits? Only Matthew McConaughey. You can see his arse, if that floats your boat.

[The Buzzard]

Any tits? Only Matthew McConaughey. You can see his arse, if that floats your boat.

Excellent. Will take that. Cheers.

[Ke1t]

Wife texts me from the plane all excited that she's about to watch the Queen film. 

 

I says to her, I says, put on fucking Die Hard... that has Bruce Willis in it, I says. 

 

Anyway, did she fuck... and now she's all, "OMG What a great movie!"

 

Better than Die Hard, though?

 

Like fuck.

[tightbreeks]

Peppermint on Amazon.

 

Jennifer garner revenge movie. Took her5 years to get her shit together and go on a killing spree, not bad skills.

[tiktak]

Border

 

It's a foreign lingo job from the Scandis. Knowing full well it won't be everyone's cup of tea I still need to highly recommend this. It's original, it's weird and it has a sex scene which almost had me regurgitating my popcorn. What more do you want?

Best description I can do on this is that it's like reading a book which is hard to get into at first until it reaches a point where you need to keep reading to see what happens next.

 

Tits? Oh yes, full frontal in fact. It'll have your eyes popping out your head.       

[eeps]

Border

 

It's a foreign lingo job from the Scandis. Knowing full well it won't be everyone's cup of tea I still need to highly recommend this. It's original, it's weird and it has a sex scene which almost had me regurgitating my popcorn. What more do you want?

Best description I can do on this is that it's like reading a book which is hard to get into at first until it reaches a point where you need to keep reading to see what happens next.

 

Tits? Oh yes, full frontal in fact. It'll have your eyes popping out your head.

Looks good, will give it a go

[The Boofon]

Border

 

It's a foreign lingo job from the Scandis. Knowing full well it won't be everyone's cup of tea I still need to highly recommend this. It's original, it's weird and it has a sex scene which almost had me regurgitating my popcorn. What more do you want?

Best description I can do on this is that it's like reading a book which is hard to get into at first until it reaches a point where you need to keep reading to see what happens next.

 

Tits? Oh yes, full frontal in fact. It'll have your eyes popping out your head.       

 

 

Rather than me fuck about and watch the whole film where approx. in the film is this bit?

[tiktak]

Rather than me fuck about and watch the whole film where approx. in the film is this bit?

 

Around or just beyond mid point ish.

[OddJob]

Watched The Greatest Showman on Friday night. What a fucking fantastic film that is, totally surprised me. The acrobat bird in it is tidy as fuck too

[Poodler]

Life

 

Single cell from Mars is fed sugar by posh black man and then goes on a murderous rampage

 

5/10

[Ke1t]

Up Pompeii... tremendous stuff from the incomparable Frankie Howerd. 

 

Up the Front... more tremendous stuff from the peerless Frankie Howerd. 

 

Up the Chastity Belt... another dose of tremendous stuff from the irreplaceable Frankie Howerd. 

 

I was going to post a wee clip there of Up the Chastity Belt, so I went on the Youtubes that the kids use, and I found this instead. 

 

[BWG]

Up Pompeii... tremendous stuff from the incomparable Frankie Howerd. 

 

Up the Front... more tremendous stuff from the peerless Frankie Howerd. 

 

Up the Chastity Belt... another dose of tremendous stuff from the irreplaceable Frankie Howerd. 

 

I was going to post a wee clip there of Up the Chastity Belt, so I went on the Youtubes that the kids use, and I found this instead. 

 

 

I've had weirder wanks than that.  6/10.

[For Fecks Sake]

I watched I Am Wrath last night, nae bad for a Travolta film, tbh. A poor man's Death Wish some might say, but it's a damn sight better than that film's remake with Bruce Willis.

Watched that the other week and thought it was utter shite! Predictable, crap script and wooden acting.

 

Last night, was away to head to my bed when I noticed that 'The Departed' was away to come on. Cracking film and thought I would watch the first 15 minutes before heading up, boom 2 hours later still watching it!

 

Other films which if I start to watch that I have to finish include Goodfellows, Casino, Godfather (1 & 2),Saving Private Ryan and Uncle Buck.

[Parklife]

Watched Free Solo on Saturday night. Really good watch.

 

About a free climber who free climbed El Capitan in Yosemite. Mental bastard. My palms were sweating just watching it.

[manboobs109]

^wrong thread dickhead

[Parklife]

It's a film. I posted in the films thread.

[manboobs109]

It's a documentary

[Parklife]

And a feature film.

[manboobs109]

No it's not. What Oscar did it win?

[Parklife]

No it's not. What Oscar did it win?

Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature.

 

Rather than be an annoying wank, you could actually engage on the documentary thread where i have commented.

[Chewie37]

Life

Single cell from Mars is fed sugar by posh black man and then goes on a murderous rampage

5/10

Marc Almond making a comeback?

[tiktak]

The Prodigy.

 

Horror / possessed kid style movie. Dull film with a good ending.

 

Edit to add I've just watched the Beeb film review online to hear Kermode's opinion. After the review he asks the presenter what's the scariest film he's ever watched. Did I hear the answer wrong? Almost certain he replied "Oh fuck off". Did I hear that right?

[tightbreeks]

Get out is a classic. His friend his t s mutha fuckin a

[Arabian Knight]

velvet buzzsaw... fuckin amazin wi the paintins comin tae life, mibbe a bit tae subtle fir basic cunts-~made by the cunt thit did nightcrawler-cunts oan fire the noo like