Chat With Random Folks

[Bobby Connor]

You: Furry boots in Brazil do you bide?

Stranger: ohhhh really!? I'm a graphic designer too!

Stranger: sorry, I don't understand tyour question

You: It means where in Braziil do you live.

Stranger: ok! I live in Paran

[minijc]

Stranger: hi

You: cha cha slide baby

Stranger: sounds a bit too difficult

You: ALS

Stranger: 21, sweden, female

Stranger: you?

You: ooh sweden I am 20 from USA and female, you got a boyfriend sweety

Stranger: oh, no I don't

You: ooh why not

You: ugly

Stranger: I don't know.. just haven't found anyone

Stranger: and you?

You: nah I am a genius

Stranger: ah, cool

You: are you nice looking

Stranger: depends on what you like

You: I like blonde

You: nice boobies, and bumsy

Stranger: okay

You: you got that

Stranger: some, not that blonde right now though

You: ooh you got a pic?

Stranger: sure

You: send away

Stranger: http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc...482936_2871.jpg

You: ahh long john silver look

Stranger: http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2..._726669_345.jpg

Stranger: yeah

You: nice,

You: you look haggered like an old stone, sorry

Stranger: hahaha

You: http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/dailyrecord...CBC2C19BB09.jpg

You: this is me

Stranger: haha

You: what is funny

Stranger: everything

You: are you good to have around the place, played for dundee united

[rgudon]

Stranger: eeek

You: areet

You: far you fae?

Stranger: sorry?

You: where u from?

Stranger: uk

You: where about?

Stranger: leeds

You: dirty leeds, u support leeds?

Stranger: no

Stranger: im from the midlands

Stranger: support aston villa

Stranger: im jess

You: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

You: MACHEDA

You: MACHEDA

You: MACHEDA

Stranger: calm down

Stranger: whats so funny

You: u not watch villa today?

Stranger: no

You: how old are u?

Stranger: 21

You: male or female?

Stranger: i told you my names jess...

Stranger: dopey!

You: Eoin jess? fukin legend!

Stranger: where are you?

You: Aberdeen

Stranger: ahh ok

You: what you think of jimmy calderwood?

You: JMG or JIG, im JMG

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

this game is gettin boring, everytime you mention calderwood they log out.

[Bobby Connor]

Stranger: hi

You: cha cha slide baby

Stranger: sounds a bit too difficult

You: ALS

Stranger: 21, sweden, female

Stranger: you?

You: ooh sweden I am 20 from USA and female, you got a boyfriend sweety

Stranger: oh, no I don't

You: ooh why not

You: ugly

Stranger: I don't know.. just haven't found anyone

Stranger: and you?

You: nah I am a genius

Stranger: ah, cool

You: are you nice looking

Stranger: depends on what you like

You: I like blonde

You: nice boobies, and bumsy

Stranger: okay

You: you got that

Stranger: some, not that blonde right now though

You: ooh you got a pic?

Stranger: sure

You: send away

Stranger: http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc...482936_2871.jpg

You: ahh long john silver look

Stranger: http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2..._726669_345.jpg

Stranger: yeah

You: nice,

You: you look haggered like an old stone, sorry

Stranger: hahaha

You: http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/dailyrecord...CBC2C19BB09.jpg

You: this is me

Stranger: haha

You: what is funny

Stranger: everything

You: are you good to have around the place, played for dundee united

[Peterheid Loon]

Stranger: hi

You: cha cha slide baby

Stranger: sounds a bit too difficult

You: ALS

Stranger: 21, sweden, female

Stranger: you?

You: ooh sweden I am 20 from USA and female, you got a boyfriend sweety

Stranger: oh, no I don't

You: ooh why not

You: ugly

Stranger: I don't know.. just haven't found anyone

Stranger: and you?

You: nah I am a genius

Stranger: ah, cool

You: are you nice looking

Stranger: depends on what you like

You: I like blonde

You: nice boobies, and bumsy

Stranger: okay

You: you got that

Stranger: some, not that blonde right now though

You: ooh you got a pic?

Stranger: sure

You: send away

Stranger: http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc...482936_2871.jpg

You: ahh long john silver look

Stranger: http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2..._726669_345.jpg

Stranger: yeah

You: nice,

You: you look haggered like an old stone, sorry

Stranger: hahaha

You: http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/dailyrecord...CBC2C19BB09.jpg

You: this is me

Stranger: haha

You: what is funny

Stranger: everything

You: are you good to have around the place, played for dundee united

 

 

You just blew a fantastic chance to let someone take your flower there Minijc, could have been an end to the Get Niall Nailed Campaign in that one conversation. ;-)

[Dandyjam]

This one is quality especially the last two lines:

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: pot !

You: im jimmy

Stranger: im Sebastian

You: where u from

Stranger: im from germany

Stranger: munich

Stranger: and you ?

You: aberdeen in scotland

Stranger: wow i love scottland, ill be there next week probably..

Stranger: if i get a flight

You: u should come see my football team on saturday

Stranger: haha :D ok if ill be around :D;D

Stranger: haha

You: if your good to have around the place we'll get on fine

Stranger: football = soccer or american football ?

Stranger: im just good at soccer

You: soccer, im a manager

Stranger: i`m an absolute beginner at american footbal

Stranger: ha, nice :D our bavarian team, fc bayern, had a terrible lose yesterday

You: what position you play, maybe i'll sign you

Stranger: :D:D libero

Stranger: hm is it called libero in scottland as well ?

Stranger: hm

Stranger: dunno :D

You: bayern we played you in uefa cup last season

Stranger: oh yeah uefa :D

Stranger: we werent that bad

Stranger: a long time ago

Stranger: :D

You: wee sone and big josh scored i was happy

Stranger: :D:D

You: andin 2nd leg lost 5-1 in allianz and we were sloppy

Stranger: yeah :D that must have been heavy, but we had the allianz arena

Stranger: bayern got quite used to it

Stranger: it is about 5 years old now

Stranger: i think

You: naw was last year, my jobs been on the line ever since

Stranger: aah ok ! wow but you shouldn`t be blamed :D bayern is good @ home

Stranger: what team do you manage ?

You: aberdeen, maybe u have heard of me

Stranger: of course i heard of your team :D wow i am surprised to talk to the manager of aberdeen *weeh*

Stranger: well, aberdeen rocks in scottland, dont they ?

Stranger: in scottish premier league

You: they used to but im dragging them down so im told

Stranger: bah, don`t listen !

You: they are lucky to have me with all my contacts in the game

Stranger: yeah, im not very talented in managing :D

You: neither am i but u dont have to be, i just gave darren mackie a 3 year deal after all

Connection imploded.

[Bobby Connor]

Stranger: hiiii

Stranger: fuck u

Stranger: ur uhly

Stranger: bitch

Stranger: whore

You: My Balls are itchy

Stranger: dicksuker

You: Suck my balls

Stranger: i want to lick them

Stranger: im a girl

You: Get on with it

Stranger: lick my pussy

You: Suck my balls

Stranger: suck my boobs.

Stranger: tap my ass.

You: Balls first

[minijc]

er: hi

Stranger: asl?

You: heyup

You: 20/f/Orlando

Stranger: 21 f finland

Stranger: lesbian, interested?

You: ooh are you nice looking

Stranger: sure

Stranger: smoking hot

You: ooh pictures?

Stranger: how about u?

Stranger: mom

Stranger: moment please

You: ok no problem, I am reasonable, really tanned though

Stranger: wait got to upload it

You: no problemo

You: you got a BF

Stranger: no

You: ooh why not, thought you were smoking hot

You: or are you on fire and just said that

Stranger: http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/8307/16225206.jpg here it is

Stranger: yes but im a lesbian

Stranger: and interested??

You: oooof, lovely

You: interested in what

Stranger: picture of you

Stranger: lesbian action

You: I lied I am actually barry Ferguson, a famous footballer, I like pishing in swimming pools and abusing my international manager

Stranger: I lied too

You: http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Footba...rguson--001.jpg here I am

You: boo you suck then

Stranger: i've got 2 dick

Stranger: s

You: I bet you are a wee boy with a nervous twitchj

Stranger: and your ugly

You: one on your face I imagine

Stranger: suck my dicks

Stranger: at the same time

You: haw you, am no ugly Am pure MINTAL MIN

[DodgyKeeper]

Everyone having fun?

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: Hey

Stranger: where from ?

You: Glasgow, Scotland

You: You?

Stranger: paris, france

Stranger: dude or lady ?

You: Guy

Stranger: FOR GOD'S SAKE, I HATE SCOTLAND !

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Scarface]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: Hello

You: Do you think JIG or JMG?

Stranger: What's that?

You: Jimmy Is God or Jimmy Must Go?

Stranger: Who's Jimmy?

You: The Tangoman

Stranger: I think that Jimmy has to kill himself

You: do you think Bobby Connor is a good guy?

Stranger: Probably

You: and what about Mini JC

Stranger: nah. he's a jerk

You: and what about Dandyjam

Stranger: dandy jan wishes she wasn't fat

You: and how about Clangers

Stranger: he is sad because his father drinks too much then beats him.

Stranger: why are you asking about these people

You: just for fun

Stranger: OK

You: what about Stewart Milne

Stranger: j.s. milne's brother?

You: No, Wiggy

Stranger: ok i'm done

Stranger: ciao

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[rgudon]

Stranger: asl?

You: 21/f/usa

You: u?

Stranger: 19/f/usa

Stranger: lezz

You: i am indeed, u?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: u butch or fem?

You: ooooh this could be good

You: fem, u?

Stranger: yessssssssss

Stranger: fem

Stranger: i love fems

You: ah this isnt gonna work

You: cant have 2 fems together

You: like playin the long ball tactic to bebo and mackie up front, just doesnt work.

Stranger: well im more dom

You: unless u send me a pic?

Stranger: talk for now babe

Stranger: maybe after

You: ooohhh after what?

Stranger: some chatting

Stranger: ..............cybering

Stranger: what r ur stats?

You: ooohh dont turn me on

Stranger: baby ill do more than turn u on

Stranger: u there?

You: will you take me to a cup final?

You: only 3 bad defeats out of 200, u?

Stranger: u have any toys

Stranger: ?

You: yes i do, its called a darren mackie vibrator, initially it was a good vibrator but just never finished the job

Stranger: sweet

Stranger: talk to me dirty

Stranger: i want to cum

You: ooohhh dont make me talk dirty

You: mmm ok, imagine this, a sensual and settled 4-4-2 every week, with the same players playing in their proper position with Mark McGhee in charge.

You: u turned on yet?

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Bobby Connor]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi.

You: I am a weegie

Stranger: asl?

You: 21 male, scotland

You: Suck my baws

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Pash]

You: when i say fit you say like

You: fit

Stranger: like

You: fit

Stranger: like

You: when i say nae you say bad

You: nae

Stranger: bad

You: nae

Stranger: bad

You: when i say jimmy you say fat moron

You: jimmy

Stranger: moron

You: jimmy

Stranger: moron

You: i love you

[fine-n-dandy]

This one is quality especially the last two lines:

If that one wiz for real, it wiz priceless

[minijc]

Stranger: asl?

You: 21/f/usa

You: u?

Stranger: 19/f/usa

Stranger: lezz

You: i am indeed, u?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: u butch or fem?

You: ooooh this could be good

You: fem, u?

Stranger: yessssssssss

Stranger: fem

Stranger: i love fems

You: ah this isnt gonna work

You: cant have 2 fems together

You: like playin the long ball tactic to bebo and mackie up front, just doesnt work.

Stranger: well im more dom

You: unless u send me a pic?

Stranger: talk for now babe

Stranger: maybe after

You: ooohhh after what?

Stranger: some chatting

Stranger: ..............cybering

Stranger: what r ur stats?

You: ooohh dont turn me on

Stranger: baby ill do more than turn u on

Stranger: u there?

You: will you take me to a cup final?

You: only 3 bad defeats out of 200, u?

Stranger: u have any toys

Stranger: ?

You: yes i do, its called a darren mackie vibrator, initially it was a good vibrator but just never finished the job

Stranger: sweet

Stranger: talk to me dirty

Stranger: i want to cum

You: ooohhh dont make me talk dirty

You: mmm ok, imagine this, a sensual and settled 4-4-2 every week, with the same players playing in their proper position with Mark McGhee in charge.

You: u turned on yet?

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

there are tears.

[Peterheid Loon]

4505 users onlinethe Funadvice Traffic ExchangeConnecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: Hello.

You: How are you?

Stranger: I'm great. How about you?

You: good thanks, what's your name?

Stranger: Carter. Yours?

You: Simmie

Stranger: What country are you from? I'm from the US.

You: From Scotland, live in Aberdeen. I used to be a football player.

Stranger: Thats awesome.

Stranger: I haven't spoken with any Scotts yet besides you/

You: cheers, have you heard of Ian Durrant?

Stranger: Only people from Holland, England, and Brazil...

Stranger: Ian Durant, not off hand...

You: ah right. I got into trouble when i played against him and buckled his knee and he cried like a baby, but he got in the way first. Honestly!

Stranger: Ouch. Sounds fun.

Stranger: Haha.

You: It was fun!!! ha ha!! The fans made up a fantastic song about it and worship me for it. I rock!

Stranger: Thats cool.

Stranger: I play bass guitar in a band called Crowd/Control.

You: cheers, he was a dirty hun anyway so no great loss to Scottish football.

[Bobby Connor]

You: Hi?

Stranger: Hi

Stranger: I'm eating ice cream!

You: I'm having a wank.

[minijc]

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi~

You: Hey I am a soccer coach from Scotland

Stranger: I'm a veterinarian from NYC, US

You: ahh have you heard of me, James Calderwood

Stranger: goalkeeper? imposter? lol

You: nah i am a manager

Stranger: Ahh, enjoy it?

You: I tried to sign a fellow citizen called Josheph Lapira

You: I am very stressed and under pressure

Stranger: What happens if you're not successful?

Stranger: Yank returns home

You: I will get the sack, people are going to protest against me and everything, they have targetted my hosue with stickets and posters

Stranger: They couldn't sack you, could they? Although you all take your soccer quite seriously!

You: yeah, the fans detest me, I have only had 3 bad games

You: my tactics are good but the fans say that long balls from DEFENCE

You: to attack is not good

You: http://www.afc-chat.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=20624

Stranger: But you've only had three bad games! We have baseball and (american) football teams that are horrible for years that still have the fan love.

You: yeah but these people arn't like us people from Glasgow, they arn't gallus enough unlike wee chrissy

Stranger: that forum..you've got a hoard afteryou

You: yeah I fera for my life, hence why I leave aberdeen and move to Magaluf for a few days

Stranger: A few days might not be enough for you, I fear.

You: Yeah, even little Darren has fallen out with me, he would run through brick walls for me but now he hates me, him and his turra mates want me dead

[Maniac Cop]

This could run and run.....

[E-P-K]

Connecting to server...Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi!

Stranger: im dutch

Stranger: ever done a dutch rudder?

Stranger: its where i hold my dick and you move my arm up and down so its like you jacking me off but im doing it

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

c**t never let me get a reply in.

 

 

c**t

[minijc]

Stranger: moshi moshi

You: hi I am jimmy

Stranger: im timmy

You: I am a football manager in scotland, WAY

You: what about you

Stranger: cool r u rich??

Stranger: im a rich bitch

You: yes, been taking a hefty wage form the club for 5 years now and delivery very little, two semi finals is all I need

Stranger: ahahahhh

Stranger: u lieee

You: no I don't

Stranger: send me some moneyzzz

Stranger: plzzzz

Stranger: zzzzzzzz

You: I'll send you Darren Mackie

Stranger: do not want everrrr

[Mouse]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: Hello

You: Do you think JIG or JMG?

Stranger: What's that?

You: Jimmy Is God or Jimmy Must Go?

Stranger: Who's Jimmy?

You: The Tangoman

Stranger: I think that Jimmy has to kill himself

You: do you think Bobby Connor is a good guy?

Stranger: Probably

You: and what about Mini JC

Stranger: nah. he's a jerk

You: and what about Dandyjam

Stranger: dandy jan wishes she wasn't fat

You: and how about Clangers

Stranger: he is sad because his father drinks too much then beats him.

Stranger: why are you asking about these people

You: just for fun

Stranger: OK

You: what about Stewart Milne

Stranger: j.s. milne's brother?

You: No, Wiggy

Stranger: ok i'm done

Stranger: ciao

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

This is one of the funniest threads I've read in my life

[Core]

4433 users onlinethe Funadvice Traffic ExchangeConnecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: oh no

You: have you pissed yoursle

Stranger: what's uo with all the conversations i'm in getting imploded?

Stranger: f**k my life

You: are you a dandy?

You: or a fat orange f**k?

Stranger: i don't think so

You: what's your name?

Stranger: more lika a fat purple f**k

Stranger: *like

You: are you a boaby?

Stranger: what's in a name, anyway?

You: is your second name conner?

You: connor, sorry

Stranger: how do you know?

Stranger:

You: awa ye radge! get back on afc chat

Stranger: maybe i should

Stranger: bye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Bobby Connor]

4433 users onlinethe Funadvice Traffic ExchangeConnecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: oh no

You: have you pissed yoursle

Stranger: what's uo with all the conversations i'm in getting imploded?

Stranger: f**k my life

You: are you a dandy?

You: or a fat orange f**k?

Stranger: i don't think so

You: what's your name?

Stranger: more lika a fat purple f**k

Stranger: *like

You: are you a boaby?

Stranger: what's in a name, anyway?

You: is your second name conner?

You: connor, sorry

Stranger: how do you know?

Stranger:

You: awa ye radge! get back on afc chat

Stranger: maybe i should

Stranger: bye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Tw@

[Mouse]

Stranger: Hety

Stranger: Hey*

You: hi there, how are you?

Stranger: good thanks, youself ?

You: i am splendid. are you good to have about the place?

Stranger: errr, what you mean ?

You: its a phrase we use up here

You: i live in a place called pittodrie

Stranger: wheres up here ?

Stranger: haha i might be some where more north :L

You: where aboots furry boots?

Stranger: england ^^

Stranger: you ?

You: i actually stay in a basement in austria, well a jail cell now. there is a book on me

You: i am famous

You: what is your favourite album?

Stranger: haha, sure whatever you say, errrrm depends what mood, countyour blessing is my peppers, but dark side of the moon by pink floyd

Stranger: u?

You: can't beat a bit of floyd. this is my favourite album:

You: http://www.afc-chat.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=17290

Stranger: cant u just say it

Stranger: i dont want to use a link from a stranger

You: it is called the ultimate collection by jimmy calderwood

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[fine-n-dandy]

Peach

 

 

 

Stranger: Hi

You: Yo

Stranger: Hows you?

You: No bad, YOU?

Stranger: Im gooood

You: Where you from?

Stranger: England

Stranger: and you?

You: Scotland

Stranger: Cool

You: Fe Glasgae like

You: Where aboots in England

Stranger: Near Bristol but I have some family up in Scotland round Dundee way

You: Jute minks eh?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

or send us feedback.

[Bobby Connor]

Stranger: Hiiiye.

You: Can we have a sensible chat about my balls?

Stranger: Sure go ahead.

Stranger: Are they blue?

Stranger: :/

Stranger: Or.

Stranger: Do they bleed frequently?

Stranger: I have all the answers.

Stranger: Ask away.

You: They are a tad itchy.

Stranger: ...

Stranger: Shit, I'm a doctor.

Stranger: And I'm sorry to say.

Stranger: You have aids.

[Core]

thought i was in...

 

 

4431 users onlinethe Funadvice Traffic ExchangeConnecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: JMG or JIG

You: ?

Stranger: jig

You: why?

Stranger: i dont understand

You: explain yourself

You: were you at the dunfermline game??

You: where are you from?

Stranger: what do you mean

Stranger: holalnd

You: do you play amateur foorball by any chance?

Stranger: jep

You: we have a few vacancies

You: what position do you play?

You: your name isn't dave is it?

Stranger: no ?

Stranger: im a girl

You: nip on min

Stranger: youre talking sh*t ?

You: you're a girl and you play amateur football?

You: how old are you?

Stranger: 18

You: tidy

You: do you like scottish men?

Stranger: ?

Stranger: i think

You: ..therefore I am

Stranger: that the are all fat with drinking beer al day

You: cant argue with that

You: what's your name?

Stranger: lisa

You: hi lisa, are you single?

Stranger: jep you ?

You: yes

You: you looking for sex?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Bobby Connor]

thought i was in...

 

 

4431 users onlinethe Funadvice Traffic ExchangeConnecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: JMG or JIG

You: ?

Stranger: jig

You: why?

Stranger: i dont understand

You: explain yourself

You: were you at the dunfermline game??

You: where are you from?

Stranger: what do you mean

Stranger: holalnd

You: do you play amateur foorball by any chance?

Stranger: jep

You: we have a few vacancies

You: what position do you play?

You: your name isn't dave is it?

Stranger: no ?

Stranger: im a girl

You: nip on min

Stranger: youre talking sh*t ?

You: you're a girl and you play amateur football?

You: how old are you?

Stranger: 18

You: tidy

You: do you like scottish men?

Stranger: ?

Stranger: i think

You: ..therefore I am

Stranger: that the are all fat with drinking beer al day

You: cant argue with that

You: what's your name?

Stranger: lisa

You: hi lisa, are you single?

Stranger: jep you ?

You: yes

You: you looking for sex?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Mouse]

Actually have tears of laughter now!