BrianFaePerth Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 Observant wife’s Got new IPTV and included is about 40 odd porn channels. After I dropped wife at work and I decided to browse the channels with my pants at my ankles. After a solid 30 mins chucked the wank sock in the fool washing pile and continued on we Ma day. Picked her up from work and as am parking car on drive she immediately says whys the blinds in living room closed. RumbledYou must have previous if closed blinds immediately make her think you've been wanking Link to comment
Poodler Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 The clamour for the microwave at lunchtime. Good god Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 The clamour for the microwave at lunchtime. Good godPoor people problem Link to comment
Redforever86 Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 Poor people problem I've got two microwaves in my kitchen, how many do you and the Boof have? Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 I've got two microwaves in my kitchen, how many do you and the Boof have?Eh don't have poor people in my kitchen Link to comment
BWG Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 Poor people problem Indeed. If you don't spend at last £18 a day on your lunch then you're 3rd class trash. Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 Collective nouns for birds. Murder of Crows etc. So fucking fuck it's just a load of birds. Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 Yours will be a proper massive lunch then chewie, you big arsehole haha terrific Alright Cavey...calm down. Trainers chat then this? You’ve changed Collective nouns for birds. Murder of Crows etc. So fucking fuck it's just a load of birds.Is it a Fat Slag of Birds? Link to comment
For Fecks Sake Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 My wife's driving, honestly how much of a fucking drama can she make a car journey. That's us arrived in Glasgow for the Semi (me going to match, her shopping) but she announces that she wants to drive down as she is heading back to Glasgow in a few weeks on her own and wants to get the experience (she's just turned 40 and has been driving for years). Now, despite me having driven us to Glasgow for what must amount to hundreds of times, she actually has zero fucking clue of how to get there. Every roundabout or junction she starts screaming at me 'where do I go, which road do take' with the icing on the cake being us completely missing the Glasgow turnoff at Perth as she 'never seen the sign' - all this with the car sat nav also on. Add is jerky wheel movements, braking at the last second for roundabouts, speeding up only to slow down and making screaming noises as she overtakes a lorry or bus (of which there was loads full of Tims and Dandies). Was nearly a divorce in the making. At least when we drive back up the road I will hopefully be merrily pissed reflecting in an Aberdeen win but will probably wakeup in Thurso as opposed to Aberdeen if I leave her to get us home alone. Link to comment
Poodler Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 People who say they hate Abba That annoys me. You can't hate Abba Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 People who say they hate Abba That annoys me. You can't hate AbbaAbba are for poofs Link to comment
Ohjimmyjimmy Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 My wife's driving, honestly how much of a fucking drama can she make a car journey. That's us arrived in Glasgow for the Semi (me going to match, her shopping) but she announces that she wants to drive down as she is heading back to Glasgow in a few weeks on her own and wants to get the experience (she's just turned 40 and has been driving for years). Now, despite me having driven us to Glasgow for what must amount to hundreds of times, she actually has zero fucking clue of how to get there. Every roundabout or junction she starts screaming at me 'where do I go, which road do take' with the icing on the cake being us completely missing the Glasgow turnoff at Perth as she 'never seen the sign' - all this with the car sat nav also on. Add is jerky wheel movements, braking at the last second for roundabouts, speeding up only to slow down and making screaming noises as she overtakes a lorry or bus (of which there was loads full of Tims and Dandies). Was nearly a divorce in the making. At least when we drive back up the road I will hopefully be merrily pissed reflecting in an Aberdeen win but will probably wakeup in Thurso as opposed to Aberdeen if I leave her to get us home alone.Just get fucking shitfaced and get he train back. Problem solved. She how she gets on getting back up the road. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 The roundabout at Broxburn Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 People that welch on bets Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 ^ not keen on that myself Brizo. Holding out hope for Cavey though. I reckon he'll honour his. Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Darkie is apparently the latest. No surprise really, fits his character. 1 Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 It's only a tenner to charity. Not even 2 pints of his craft beers. Shocking. Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 We'll see how Moobzoid fares when Corbinator becomes supreme leader.If that comes to pass I'll square you up. Have no worries on that score. Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 @@robbojunior can testify to me being a man of my word. Link to comment
BWG Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Bass players who pretend to be Irish. 1 Link to comment
Arabian Knight Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 wi aw these cunts shirkin bets it's time esk whas the biggest serpent oan here Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 wi aw these cunts shirkin bets it's time esk whas the biggest serpent oan hereYou Link to comment
StandFree1982 Posted April 15, 2019 Author Share Posted April 15, 2019 Watching Aberdeen at Hampden. Link to comment
Poodler Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Our record at hampden/ v Celtic must be atrocious Link to comment
The Boofon Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 wi aw these cunts shirkin bets it's time esk whas the biggest serpent oan here You beast Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Ordered a pair of boots and got an email saying 'thank you for your reservation' I'd only reserved the fucking things so I'd get them 'first' when they are 'issued' What a load of pretentious nonsense, reserving fucking boots. I need a pair of fucking boots now. Reservation cancelled different, but very similar, boots purchased. Link to comment
For Fecks Sake Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Kids party at Alford Ski center required a dress rehearsal a week in advance. Thank fuck, thought my wife was the only one who did stuff like that. Seriously can you imagine saying that in the pub or after football training with your mates, you would get the absolute piss taken out of you. "who's up for taking a drive out Longside way as we're playing them next week and I have never driven there before". Then again with the current snowflake generation we have they would probably all agree to do just that while setting up a helpline for the stress involved. Link to comment
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