Pet Hates

[Poodler]

A woman here told me they have to have a safety pause before starting a meeting.

 

Is that for real?

 

LOL

[For Fecks Sake]

A woman here told me they have to have a safety pause before starting a meeting.

 

Is that for real?

 

LOL

If you want to make it BIG in Oil and Gas, starting a meeting with a safety moment where you mention a completely obvious as fuck and boring story is the way to go.

 

Go get em tiger

[Studebaker-90]

A woman here told me they have to have a safety pause before starting a meeting.

Is that for real?

LOL

Was it Jennifer Taylor-Clark?

[dazzy_deff]

A woman here told me they have to have a safety pause before starting a meeting.

 

Is that for real?

 

LOL

Don't say that to Boof FFS.

[dazzy_deff]

If you want to make it BIG in Oil and Gas, starting a meeting with a safety moment where you mention a completely obvious as fuck and boring story is the way to go.

 

Go get em tiger

[Fridge]

Stretch breaks every thirty minutes are also tremendous.

[Dom Sullivan]

A woman here told me they have to have a safety pause before starting a meeting.

Is that for real?

LOL

The fucks a safety pause??

[Ke1t]

The fucks a safety pause??

 

Was thinking the same thing. 

[Fridge]

Safety moments before meetings basically. So you will put up a slide of someone smoking a fag while putting petrol into his car on his mobile. And say don’t do this.

 

Or on the flip side don’t text why walking incase you fall and break your leg.

 

Basically opening a meeting with how not to be a complete spastic. Terrific.

[Dom Sullivan]

Safety moments before meetings basically. So you will put up a slide of someone smoking a fag while putting petrol into his car on his mobile. And say don’t do this.

Or on the flip side don’t text why walking incase you fall and break your leg.

Basically opening a meeting with how not to be a complete spastic. Terrific.

Fucking hell.

 

World's gone fucking mad.

 

Health and safety pish.

 

I guess it keeps someone in a job though

[Poodler]

Fucking hell.

 

World's gone fucking mad.

 

Health and safety pish.

 

I guess it keeps someone in a job though

 

@boof

[Ke1t]

Safety moments before meetings basically. So you will put up a slide of someone smoking a fag while putting petrol into his car on his mobile. And say don’t do this.

 

Or on the flip side don’t text why walking incase you fall and break your leg.

 

Basically opening a meeting with how not to be a complete spastic. Terrific.

 

I think I might stand up and fucking batter anyone who did that in a meeting. 

 

Or, better still, give them the international sign for a spastic... flap my hand around at the wrist while going "NUUUUUUUUH!!!!" ...THEN batter fuck out of anyone who did that in a meeting. 

 

I think the last actual meeting I attended was about a year ago. Some middle management cunt decided it would be good if I turned up at 8am the first Monday every month and participated in some meeting they have to 'address issues'. I decided my main issue was driving 40 miles one way to attend some flid's meeting that had fuck all to do with me. Fortunately I'm a problem solver, and I told them if they need me to call me because fuck their meeting. 

 

Their intranet going down I can fix. Susan in accounts falling down a flight of stairs while pregnant... while tragic... has fuck all to do with me.

[BrianFaePerth]

A woman here told me they have to have a safety pause before starting a meeting.

 

Is that for real?

 

LOL

There's lots of bleeding hearts pushing for offices to acknowledge the "traditional caretakers of this land" before meetings.

 

Fuck that shit, and how dare they imply abos are only capable of being jannies.

[Poodler]

Yeah he had to let two of his staff go

[BrianFaePerth]

Yeah he had to let two of his staff go

His Groom of the Stool and Whipping Boy

[Chewie37]

Arrange a small sided family game of football and snap her in two.

  

It would be soccer in California where Chewie lives with his wife and twins.

 

  

 

Excellent idea lads, family soccerball it is...........with the wife and twins........in California

 

Family game of water polo and drown the bitch, or set up a volley ball net in the pool and smash a Mitre clean off her nose "Accidently of course.

 

I'm assuming you have access to a pool also.

 

 

Also a great idea, the miserable cunt has a swimming pool that she loves to show off, so I can smash her in the nose AND (MT™️) ruin her pool for a few days with all the blood..........in California, with the wife.........and twins

 

 

Torment her for years with petty shit. Key her car, get pizza’s delivered to her house, bullets through her door.

Make sure it is completely untraceable but she will known it is you.

What if I accidentally leave a small footprint as evidence? I’ll get rumbled

[Chewie37]

The fucks a safety pause??

It’s when a bear wears chainmail gloves.......

[alscotoz]

    

 

Excellent idea lads, family soccerball it is...........with the wife and twins........in California

 

 

 

Also a great idea, the miserable cunt has a swimming pool that she loves to show off, so I can smash her in the nose AND (MT™️) ruin her pool for a few days with all the blood..........in California, with the wife.........and twins

 

 

What if I accidentally leave a small footprint as evidence? I’ll get rumbled

 

You could claim it was one of the twins.

 

BTW...do you live in California?

[DD1903]

Or wear the size 11 Adidas

Best he wear 3 pairs of socks so the trainers don't slip off

[StandFree1982]

Fucking hell.

 

World's gone fucking mad.

 

Health and safety pish.

 

I guess it keeps someone in a job though

 

It's been happening for years now at "big" companies like Shell and BP.  

 

I got stopped by some cunt going into the Shell building for a meeting, not long ago, to tell me that I "I didn't hold the handrail" in the car park. This was the day after Neale Cooper died and he brought that up as a fucking safety moment "Did you hear about Neale Cooper last night? That could have been you." 

 

Pricks of the highest nature.   I hope he fell down some stairs later that day.  

 

It's a huge arse covering process to ensure that they don't get sued. They'll try and tell you it's because they are concerned for your safety, but it's got nothing to do your welfare and all to do with them losing a bit of cash and reputation. 

[Bluto10]

aye ok lord suger

[shut up meg]

    

 

Excellent idea lads, family soccerball it is...........with the wife and twins........in California

 

 

 

Also a great idea, the miserable cunt has a swimming pool that she loves to show off, so I can smash her in the nose AND (MT™️) ruin her pool for a few days with all the blood..........in California, with the wife.........and twins

 

 

What if I accidentally leave a small footprint as evidence? I’ll get rumbled

 

Chuck a Lions Bar into her pool like in Caddyshack.

That'll freak her out a bit with less chance of doing some time.

[BrianFaePerth]

I work in a company Tuesday and Thursday where they put 2 stickers over my mobile phone cameras before I am allowed to enter. One on the front and one on the back.

 

I reckon they have probably heard about my love of dick pics from the girl at reception and are being big fat spoilsports. Can't be because I will be taking pictures of their shitey tire factory. Who gives a fuck?

 

An international spy I am not.

 

A lot of pullavah for a simple English teacher.

 

I might add a handsome one at that.

 

The girl on reception has a dick?

[Poodler]

They put stickers on your camera, so you can't take creep shots?

 

Christ I'd have nothing to do at work

[The Buzzard]

Was speaking to a guy on the phone yesterday who works for an organisation based up in Aberdeen. Might be going up there to do something for it’s members but he made a point of specifically saying that the culture is different in Aberdeen from other places, in so much as if we did take part we should be prepared for a 7am meeting. Is that the case?

 

Makes no odds to me and I get the point of breakfast meetings, just thought it was strange he felt he had to mention that the culture was different.

[The Buzzard]

^ Sounds like he’s planning to rape you, Buzz

Chance would be a fine thing.

[Fridge]

Was speaking to a guy on the phone yesterday who works for an organisation based up in Aberdeen. Might be going up there to do something for it’s members but he made a point of specifically saying that the culture is different in Aberdeen from other places, in so much as if we did take part we should be prepared for a 7am meeting. Is that the case

 

Makes no odds to me and I get the point of breakfast meetings, just thought it was strange he felt he had to mention that the culture was different.

If it’s an operator have no fears, everyone turns up at 9 and fucks off at four. Only work 9 day fortnights but consistently moan that they are busy as fuck.

 

Get yourself signed up.

[dave_min]

If it’s an operator have no fears, everyone turns up at 9 and fucks off at four. Only work 9 day fortnights but consistently moan that they are busy as fuck.

 

Get yourself signed up.

They also do fuck all during those 9 days they bother to turn up. It’s the dream.

[Chewie37]

Best he wear 3 pairs of socks so the trainers don't slip off

Depends on the socks........

[Betty Swallicks]

It's been happening for years now at "big" companies like Shell and BP.  

 

I got stopped by some cunt going into the Shell building for a meeting, not long ago, to tell me that I "I didn't hold the handrail" in the car park. This was the day after Neale Cooper died and he brought that up as a fucking safety moment "Did you hear about Neale Cooper last night? That could have been you." 

 

Pricks of the highest nature.   I hope he fell down some stairs later that day.  

 

It's a huge arse covering process to ensure that they don't get sued. They'll try and tell you it's because they are concerned for your safety, but it's got nothing to do your welfare and all to do with them losing a bit of cash and reputation. 

 

Where was he in 71?

 

@millermongsuncle