Pet Hates

[Parklife]

Utter nonsense post that makes no sense. Especially the first sentence. The words of a dotard.

 

I'll be watching you boy.

It makes perfect sense. You watch away though.

 

How's the romancing progressing?

[Arabian Knight]

Perklife's oan form the nicht. Slappin the millerman aboot like an auld spunkrag n then cawin oot the Babylon fir eez outdated Britpop pish. Cunt'll b flyin ower tae finland tae ring byens neck at this rate, keep up the gade work son

[Bluto10]

Whats the biggest cock you've managed to fit through that gap in your frunt teeth?

All real, mate.

All mine.

 

[Bluto10]

Perklife's oan form the nicht. Slappin the millerman aboot like an auld spunkrag n then cawin oot the Babylon fir eez outdated Britpop pish. Cunt'll b flyin ower tae finland tae ring byens neck at this rate, keep up the gade work son

Eye tro din own him lie k ton square p says o shit.

[E-P-K]

All real, mate.

All mine.

 

 

 

double jointed back Bloots

[Bluto10]

English please?

[Bluto10]

Gotcha

No

[Bluto10]

Lol I get it

[Parklife]

Who's Bluts' lover a waiter to?

[The Boofon]

Stephen Hawking

His American impersonation is impressive.

[HairyPie]

I may have mentioned it before, but I can't fucking stand people who can't or won't do simple fucking tasks for themselves when they're physically and mentally capable of doing these things.

 

I've watched a chick go through an entire Three Fucking Stooges routine of utter ineptitude trying to get up a ladder to get to an item off a high shelf. A task that should have taken 90 seconds max, from getting the ladder to putting it away, took about 15 minutes of grunting, sobbing, screaming, shit falling off shelves, the ladder collapsing, and the chick in question turning into a complete fucking wreck, and STILL she had to come and ask me to get the fucking thing for her.

 

Which I did in about 15 seconds... without any notable incidents or breakages.

 

Now, I could have just walked up to her and said 'You want me to do that' when it became apparent that climbing up a small fucking ladder and using her hand to grab the object in question was a task on such an incredible scale of magnitude to her that she may as well have been trying to create Cold Fusion while fighting a fucking Tiger... but honest to fuck... seriously? You need help climbing a fucking stepladder?

 

You're worthless.

 

I get what I would imagine is a similar feeling when I see people who can't park a car. There should be driving inspectors on the go. You get a yellow for a shitey bit of driving like slowing down approaching a roundabout when there's fuck all coming. Fail to park in a space big enough for your car at first attempt - red - licence withdrawn. Only reinstated after a week long driving examination with 100% pass mark.

[BWG]

I get what I would imagine is a similar feeling when I see people who can't park a car. There should be driving inspectors on the go. You get a yellow for a shitey bit of driving like slowing down approaching a roundabout when there's fuck all coming. Fail to park in a space big enough for your car at first attempt - red - licence withdrawn. Only reinstated after a week long driving examination with 100% pass mark.

There would be no women on the road at all if they did that.

 

@mumsnet

[Chewie37]

You get tickets for bad parking in California.....pretty funny. You should definitely get fined for being shite at driving

[alscotoz]

 

 

"Loose" instead of "lose"

 

 

Thick cunts

 

Fucking no need

[1903Fitba]

Teachers celebrating having a snow day at schools.

 

 

Mutants.

[manboobs109]

Those fucking Nationwide adverts. Wish I had an account with them so I could close it. Surely to fuck no one thinks those two birds are funny?

[1903Fitba]

People who have half a sugar in their tea/coffee

 

[maryhilldon]

Those fucking Nationwide adverts. Wish I had an account with them so I could close it. Surely to fuck no one thinks those two birds are funny?

I mute the telly when it comes on, it's so shit it annoys me.

[Donnet]

People who have half a sugar in their tea/coffee

 

 

And then have a can or bottle of coke at lunch!

[manboobs109]

Cunts on the news moaning about being stuck in their motor. If you take the risk of driving it's hardly as if you haven't been warned.

[manboobs109]

^ how am I meant to watch The Chase while eating my tea then ya cunt?

[The Boofon]

^ how am I meant to watch The Chase while eating my tea then ya cunt?

 

 

Tape it and fast forward the adverts fatty boom boom.

[mcdougall(4)]

^ how am I meant to watch The Chase while eating my tea then ya cunt?

 

don't simple

[Poodler]

Ugly kids

[Poodler]

Yeah folk bring in pictures/ social media of these revolting dribbly messes and I'm like Christ, look at the nick of that kid

 

 

They must know, too

[looksgoodinred]

Yeah folk bring in pictures/ social media of these revolting dribbly messes and I'm like Christ, look at the nick of that kid

 

 

They must know, too

 

probably if you're screwing your face up into an "isn't that disgusting" look and make gagging noises

[RAZOR]

 

 

Tape it and fast forward the adverts fatty boom boom.

 

And when it's not 1994 anymore and nobody has tapes?

[The Boofon]

 

And when it's not 1994 anymore and nobody has tapes?

A commonly used term none the less.

[StandFree1982]

Ugly kids

@police

[maryhilldon]

If you watch that shite then you deserve to be miserable...

 

 

 

WTF! The Chase is essential viewing if, like me, you have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Much better than wanky Pointless with it's questions about poet laureates and playwrites.