Pet Hates

[Hewitt a the pies]

Some holiday Pet Hates.

 

Middle aged men (mostly from Middle East) who wear full Barcelona or Real Madrid strips around the hotel.

 

Folks who are up at the crack of dawn to put towels on sun loungers when there is no need to.

 

People who still think it's acceptable to smoke during meals.

 

Anyone from England, especially those from London or Essex. Nae volume control on those cunts.

 

Cunts wearing Celtic or Sevco tops (thankfully not spotted any in the hotel, it's obviously out of their price range) but spotted a few in the village or trying to access the hotels private beach. Thankfully the hotel guards are experienced at spotting such folk and turn them away.

 

Russians #1, in generalaall are greedy horrible bastards who insist on taking massive plate fulls of food but then leave about 2/3rds of it uneaten.

 

Russians #2, some obviously loaded old baldy fat ugly bastard but who has a smoking hot young bird with him (nae jealous in the slightest obviously but see next pet hate).

 

Russians #3, while not a pet hate as such but Russian ladies who are smoking hot and look like they have stepped straight out of a porn set. The pet hate bit is when Mrs FFS asks if I have had a good enough oggle at them. Not sure my excuse of 'if I never looked at other women how else would I be able to appreciate how beautiful you are' is cutting it anymore.

 

Apart from that, while it's nae Silver Sands Caravan park, it will do.

[For Fecks Sake]

Got a Russian family in the next room and all she does is take selfies of herself in 20 different poses every hour making sure her husband and kids are’t in Shot.

Sat with the misses and counted 3 lassies all doing the same, taking endless selfies from all angles, sunglasses on, sunglasses off, cocktail to mouth, cocktail with straw, pouting, hair up, hair down etc etc etc.

 

Was at it for fucking ages.

 

Felt like calling over to one in particular that best thing she could put in front of her face for the best selfie was anything that covered her entire face the ugly beaut that she was.

[HairyPie]

Jesus i’m Lying by the pool on hols and thinking exactly this.

Just had 2 weasels swagger by in shellick tops too.

Got a Russian family in the next room and all she does is take selfies of herself in 20 different poses every hour making sure her husband and kids are’t in Shot.

And then there’s the wank family fae Watford that

can be heard above 300 other diners in the restaurant in the evenings.

 

I'd move in with the Russkis and wanks from Watford for the rest of the holiday before I'd spend one second in the company of the minkers.

[HairyPie]

Jesus i’m Lying by the pool on hols and thinking exactly this.

Just had 2 weasels swagger by in shellick tops too.

Got a Russian family in the next room and all she does is take selfies of herself in 20 different poses every hour making sure her husband and kids are’t in Shot.

And then there’s the wank family fae Watford that

can be heard above 300 other diners in the restaurant in the evenings.

 

 

Sat with the misses and counted 3 lassies all doing the same, taking endless selfies from all angles, sunglasses on, sunglasses off, cocktail to mouth, cocktail with straw, pouting, hair up, hair down etc etc etc.

 

Was at it for fucking ages.

 

Felt like calling over to one in particular that best thing she could put in front of her face for the best selfie was anything that covered her entire face the ugly beaut that she was.

 

And both of you - there is a thread for your photos ...

[For Fecks Sake]

And both of you - there is a thread for your photos ...

Have a gander, loaded today's offering.

[Hewitt a the pies]

And both of you - there is a thread for your photos ...

I wouldn’t even know how to upload them HP

[For Fecks Sake]

To continue with the holiday theme.

 

The fat as fuck family, nae even a little overweight but everyone of them fucking mega obese including the young kid who looks like a miniature Michelin Tyre Man. Actually feel sorry for the kids in this instance.

 

Imagine being the poor sod who has to sit next to them on a plane. Fuck that.

 

The parents who don't give a shit about what their kids are doing. Sitting having lunch and the youngest kid is battering their plate off the table repeatedly. Mum and dad both have heads buried into their phones. Ah cunt in the restaurant looking at the din the little fuck is making which is only stopped when a waiter takes the plate away. Dad catches my disapproving scowl and slowly looks away - fanny.

 

The 'how long you been here' bloke. Ah can you not see I am reading my book (I read at least a book a week) and don't care to engage with anyone, including my wife, let alone some English prick from Manchester.

 

Best thing about holidays, people watching. Somehow makes you feel good about yourself!

[For Fecks Sake]

[HairyPie]

Don't get me wrong, love going on holiday and as said above people watching.

 

Fat family Brits, unfortunately aye.

 

Photo of the fatsos please so we can all judge.

[Redforever86]

All inclusive holidays lol

 

@@Millertime

[The Boofon]

OR WHEN SOME FUCKING CUNT DECIDES THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE THEIR HOLIDAY PAL.  NOT a chance that is happening chummy.

 

 

Haha. Hate that.

 

My mate is a fucking nightmare for this. Speaking to every cunt. Has ended up having folk up for weekends after their holidays.

 

No chance. Fine saying hello at the bar while picking up drinks but stay the fuck away from me all other time.

[dazzy_deff]

Haha. Hate that.

 

My mate is a fucking nightmare for this. Speaking to every cunt. Has ended up having folk up for weekends after their holidays.

 

No chance. Fine saying hello at the bar while picking up drinks but stay the fuck away from me all other time.

Pals of ours are the same. Keeping in touch and meeting up with holiday friends from England. Fuck that, my intention is speak to no cunt when I'm on holiday.

[Simply Red]

OR WHEN SOME FUCKING CUNT DECIDES THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE THEIR HOLIDAY PAL. NOT a chance that is happening chummy.

Holiday pals lol.

 

You and the missus get chatting to another random couple in a bar at night. It lasts 2hrs. Perfectly nice people but imperative that you avoid a repeat performance so keep yir eyes peeled to avoid rest of the holiday.

[Don Fonte]

Bunch of unsociable cunts...

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm exactly the same.

[manboobs109]

Fuck me is there any point in you miserable cunts going on holiday? You could just stay at home and sneer at cunts instead. Save yourselves a few notes.

[Hewitt a the pies]

Fuck me is there any point in you miserable cunts going on holiday? You could just stay at home and sneer at cunts instead. Save yourselves a few notes.

Haha it’s true we just moan as much on holiday as we do at home.

I do hate when Mrs HATP’ s gets us entrapped with some droning fuckers from Yorkshire or fuckin London who just tell you how much cheaper they got their holiday for.

I go on holiday to relax and spend time with her and Young HATP’s. I have to deal with arseholes on a daily basis at work without my missus actively seeking them out abroad.

I have tried holidays in Scotland but all the photos look like thon Victorian ones you see where no ones smiling and it’s just grey. Maybe just been unlucky.

[Fridge]

Thought the whole point on going on holiday was to get fucked off with folk you deem inferior to you?

 

All you want is to have a quiet beer in the sun and hope your kids don’t drown. Not a 45 minute conversation about politics from some dick you’ve never met or will again.

 

Airports are always a hoot aswell.

[maryhilldon]

I can see why Aberdonians have a reputation for being so friendly.

[manboobs109]

Och it's class having a craic with cunts on holiday man. Not one for holiday pals or keeping in touch but you can't beat having a laugh and a bevvy with random cunts.

[manboobs109]

Your idea of hell is having a laugh? You're a strange fish Hanz.

[Foster14]

Och it's class having a craic with cunts on holiday man. Not one for holiday pals or keeping in touch but you can't beat having a laugh and a bevvy with random cunts.

 

Don't mind it if you get with some chat off some locals on a holiday.  More likely to happen on a city break than at a resort though. 

[manboobs109]

^ dunno about that Foster. Much better just sitting in pubs in silence not having a laugh.

[Foster14]

^ dunno about that Foster. Much better just sitting in pubs in silence not having a laugh.

 

I'd largely do that with the people I went on the trip with though, but in the more interesting places, always worth some chat with some of the other folk.  

 

I'd tend to agree with the view that in a resort, I'd prefer not to have holiday "friends."  If I wanted to have couples as holiday "friends" then I'd actually try and sort a holiday with my friends.  As it is, I don't really want to do that either...

[Don Fonte]

If you've not noticed the annoying loud cunt in the room (or on holiday), you're probably the annoying loud cunt.

[Redforever86]

Let’s face it the majority of folk in a holiday resort are going to be dull as fuck. Not worth the risk past the odd polite small talk when the situation arises.

 

I would agree about city breaks having more potential. Talking to actual locals you can learn things about societies and places you normally wouldn’t.

[Redforever86]

By chatting up a random German bird I found out that gold fillings were popular in the east, and that in German homes there is a valve to turn off the water to each individual room.

[HairyPie]

By chatting up a random German bird I found out that gold fillings were popular in the east, and that in German homes there is a valve to turn off the water to each individual room.

 

That and their far-right tendencies makes me like Germans.

[Redforever86]

That and their far-right tendencies makes me like Germans.

On the wall etc so you can see it. Nae hidden under the sink behind years of junk you couldn’t find somewhere else to put.

 

Seems like common fucking sense.

[manboobs109]

Yeah cunts sticking to you is nippy, agreed. Having a blether with randoms in the pub is class though.

[Chewie37]

If I get tourists, usually japanese or americans , talking to me in Glasgow city centre I make up the most amount of bollocks I can. Just absolute shite. like the river Clyde is full of gold and is guarded 24/7

 

You can do your Hat persona in real life too? Ace