Pet Hates

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Henry said:

Number 3 - your colleagues have clearly gone past the stage of humouring you. 

Nah, cause often the conversation isn't even with them. 
 

They just have no interest in discussing anything that isn't their favourite foods, previous holidays, or their plans for decorating their houses or whatever. It's absolutely dire. 
 

I don't want every topic to be dead serious, even something stupid like 'do you think you could kill a shark with your bare hands if required?' would be fine. 
 

Just hate small talk in a sterilised office setting. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Redforever86 said:

It's all just a bit much trying to have solidarity with the plight of Palestinian transexuals when you are trying to get the latte art on point. 

You think you'd have time to stop and have a conversation as a barista? More fool you!

[Guest]

2 hours ago, cheesepipes said:

Number 1 is sometimes completely unavoidable. Poor cunt has probably held it in for hours during some shite HSE presentation. The cock pressure actually pilots the rectal valve, theres no way out. 

Number 2 was probably a brown or Indian. 

Number 3, i think im onside with the colleagues. 

Number 4, agree with that. OnG full of arseholes who think they are irreplaceable and feel they should be getting paid treble, then once the company decides to downsize they will be the first cunt into the bosses arsehole offering to accept a 50% pay cut. 

Without giving away too much about where I work, the cunt definitely hasn't had to sit through a HSE presentation, he's away to board a plane to go offshore. 
 

The snotting and hoiking was definitely done by a British guy, absolutely brutal stuff, turned my stomach. 
 

Im not always looking to discuss politics, just anything that isn't mundane, what did you have for lunch rubbish. Which obviously, I also indulge in out of politeness from time to time. 
 

 

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Ask your colleagues opinion on the ostrich conundrum.

I'm maybe doing them a slight disservice. Just get bored at work in general. 
 

Hence why I post on here! 

[maryhilldon]

38 minutes ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

 

They just have no interest in discussing anything that isn't their favourite foods, previous holidays, or their plans for decorating their houses or whatever. It's absolutely dire. 

You've just described Facebook.  Do you use FB much? 

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, maryhilldon said:

You've just described Facebook.  Do you use FB much? 

Deleted it a while back

[maryhilldon]

4 minutes ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

Deleted it a while back

Good decision. 

[Henry]

2 hours ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

what did you have for lunch

If only there was somewhere online we could discuss that. 

[manboobs109]

11 hours ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

A few things for me, ones that have boiled my piss recently. 
 

1.) When folk are stood at a urinal and just let a massive fart go. I rate a funny fart as much as the next guy, but doing it in a toilet full of strangers is rotten. 
 

2.) I was taking a shite at work the other day and some minker came in proper snotting and hoiking the back of his throat, did it about 3 times and spat his flem into the sink or the urinal. We've all spat in the urinals whilst having a piss but the fucking hoiking and snorting is just disgusting and far too far. 
 

3.) When you're at work and having interesting discussion, and your other colleagues all sigh and roll their eyes, and carry on having a convo about what they might have for lunch when they get in. That pisses me off, excuse me for wanting to fill the downtime at my job with interesting chat, and not what's going in my baguette. 
 

4.) Those cunts at work who are all talk, just go on and on about how much they work and how hard they work and how the place is a joke etc, when in reality they do fuck all different to anyone else. Delusional wankers you get at every workplace. 

 

 

Stop hanging about the bogs

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

Stop hanging about the bogs

Both were during my post coffee morning shites. 
 

Also, I utilise the glory hole to its full extent. 

[Don Fonte]

3 hours ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

Nah, cause often the conversation isn't even with them. 
 

They just have no interest in discussing anything that isn't their favourite foods, previous holidays, or their plans for decorating their houses or whatever. It's absolutely dire. 
 

I don't want every topic to be dead serious, even something stupid like 'do you think you could kill a shark with your bare hands if required?' would be fine. 
 

Just hate small talk in a sterilised office setting. 

Your colleagues all hate you. 

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Your colleagues all hate you. 

Do they puff. 
 

Get on like a house on fire. I just sometimes can't abide by the dire office chat. 
 

Brutal stuff. I avoid going to ASDA for the same reason, in case you see someone you know and have to make the small talk. 
 

Not a bit of me

[Don Fonte]

Just now, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

Do they puff. 
 

Get on like a house on fire. I just sometimes can't abide by the dire office chat. 
 

Brutal stuff. I avoid going to ASDA for the same reason, in case you see someone you know and have to make the small talk. 
 

Not a bit of me

I avoid anyone I kinda know on the dreaded visit to the supermarket if needed, agreed.

But don't really have an office chat scenario at work. If I did, I'd avoid that too.

[Guest]

Just now, cheesepipes said:

You ever had the misfortune at Asda Dyce of the mildly mentally disabled till wifie that loudly trys akward conversations with everyone. 

 

Im all for opportunity but get her in the warehouse. 

Aye, and I exchanged pleasantries. 
 

You need to reevaluate your perspective, bro 

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, Dad said:

Consis colleagues:

 

'here everyone - see that shit bearded cunt? He cant drive hahaha'

Getting a little big for your boots, old timer. 
 

Currently sporting a moustache, much to the derision of just about everyone I know besides my girlfriend. 
 

It's not so much I'm incapable of driving, more so I've never bothered to attempt it. 

[Guest]

Just now, cheesepipes said:

I avoid her lane like the plague. 

Use the self checkout you fuckin dinosaur 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, cheesepipes said:

Get her number? 

Now, now. 
 

She was lovely, was a while back as well. 

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

I avoid anyone I kinda know on the dreaded visit to the supermarket if needed, agreed.

But don't really have an office chat scenario at work. If I did, I'd avoid that too.

Fine at the start of the day, but when the whole shift is just small talk about what your favourite biscuit is, I'd rather headbutt a bed of nails. 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Dad said:

Sorry son - no hard feelings

Consider your card marked. 
 

 

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Im not a monster, its an awkward experience. Im just wanting the vaseline, condoms and courgettes in a timely fashion. 

I don't think a courgette could fit down a japseye 

[manboobs109]

I like small talk.

Alright, what you been up to?

Fuck all man, you?

Same man

Wonderful stuff

[Guest]

1 minute ago, cheesepipes said:

All you hipsters are clogging it up with bottles of Yop. 

Who i do like and actively seek out is the very friendly scouse wifie. Mid 30s maybe, a real delight. 

Seems to have been promoted off the tills to one of the standing ones who deals with minor issues. 

I'm not in there often enough, generally hate being in supermarkets. I buy my shit, thank who needs thanked, and leave with haste. 
 

Im somewhat of a celebrity around these parts. 

[Poodler]

10 minutes ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

Getting a little big for your boots, old timer. 
 

Currently sporting a moustache, much to the derision of just about everyone I know besides my girlfriend. 
 

It's not so much I'm incapable of driving, more so I've never bothered to attempt it. 

I’ve just shaved mine last week, had a decent Willie Miller style number for a few month. Disgusting the hatred you get about it. Every woman in my life hated it apart from my bird (as they’re all the rage back home). 
 

Horrendous double standards every single day. ‘You look like a pervert/ sex offender/ creep’

imagine I was saying that to them. As a young white male in the workplace, you don’t half cop some shit. 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Dad said:

Would you fuck

Ever heard of hyperbole, you old piece of garbage 

[Guest]

Just now, Poodler said:

I’ve just shaved mine, had a decent Willie Miller style number for a few month. Disgusting the hatred you get from it. Every woman in my life hated it apart from my bird as they’re all the rage back home. 
 

Horrendous double standards every single day. ‘You look like a pervert/ sex offender/ creep’

imagine I was saying that to them. As a young white male in the workplace, you don’t half cop some shit. 

I agree. 
 

I have brownish hair so mine is more Brown than black. I was told I looked like a "serial killer" the other day. 
 

Young white men need justice, now! 

[manboobs109]

Just now, Poodler said:

I’ve just shaved mine, had a decent Willie Miller style number for a few month. Disgusting the hatred you get from it. Every woman in my life hated it apart from my bird as they’re all the rage back home. 
 

Horrendous double standards every single day. ‘You look like a pervert/ sex offender/ creep’

imagine I was saying that to them. As a young white male in the workplace, you don’t half cop some shit. 

It wasn't the tache making them say that.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, cheesepipes said:

What did you gain celebrity status for. 

 

Knobbing heaps of lassies, obv 

[Poodler]

4 minutes ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

Knobbing heaps of lassies, obv 

I’ve never heard of you and I completed our suburb many moons ago 

[Guest]

Just now, Poodler said:

I’ve never heard of you and I completed our suburb many moons ago 

That's because I'm joking. I've slept with 4 women. 
 

Does that make you happy? To humiliate me in this masculine arena? 
 

 

[Poodler]

You do it to yourself, you do