muttondressedaslamb Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Did one today and it was back to a lighter brown, maybe too light?? I wasn't that happy. How come one day it's dark brown, then the next day it's light brown? My diet yesterday was 'shite' as someone had taken in a tin of Roses and I was chained to my desk all day so ate too many chocolates and not enough fruit and veg. Maybe this had an effect? Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Did one today and it was back to a lighter brown, maybe too light?? I wasn't that happy. How come one day it's dark brown, then the next day it's light brown? My diet yesterday was 'shite' as someone had taken in a tin of Roses and I was chained to my desk all day so ate too many chocolates and not enough fruit and veg. Maybe this had an effect? I wouldn't get all hung up on colouration - this can vary wildy in a week for even the healthiest of people. Perfectly normal. The frequency of your bowel movements also has an effect of colouration. The longer ''it'' is kept in your bowel the darker it is likely to become... Link to comment
OddJob Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Well being a crohns sufferer i usually get a weekly collection of all the "shit" types, i just never know what one's going to turn up, ranging from something which probably looks like a black man's hard-on to an artist's paintboard Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Well being a crohns sufferer i usually get a weekly collection of all the "shit" types, i just never know what one's going to turn up, ranging from something which probably looks like a black man's hard-on to an artist's paintboard Ouch ya bastard. Sorry to hear that brother... Is it ileal, ileocolic or colonic? You on AI medication? :thumbs: Link to comment
paddy Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Had a turbo turd at work today. Love doing my business at work. Getting paid to take a dump FTW Link to comment
muttondressedaslamb Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I wouldn't get all hung up on colouration - this can vary wildy in a week for even the healthiest of people. Perfectly normal. The frequency of your bowel movements also has an effect of colouration. The longer ''it'' is kept in your bowel the darker it is likely to become... Aye apparently holding it in is really bad for you I used to defecate once every 2/3 days but now it's once a day. Must be eating too much! Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Aye apparently holding it in is really bad for you I used to defecate once every 2/3 days but now it's once a day. Must be eating too much! Cheesus! 2/3 days??? Twice a day for me. Once first thing in the morning and once in the evening, sometimes 3 times a day if the mood takes me. Link to comment
bonzodaddy73 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm a twice a day man. Regular as clockwork.Thankfully my guts have settled down and I deposited a lovely type #3 in Wick railway station this afternoon. Link to comment
ollie1903 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Yes thats possible. Just as an aside, the NHS have started postal screenings for people in the appropriate age group. You pass your stool into a cardboard bowl seal in a plastice bag, put that into another plastic bag, put into a brown bag and then post it back to them for analysis.Does it go by size or weight, to determine how many stamps you need? Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm a twice a day man. Regular as clockwork.Thankfully my guts have settled down and I deposited a lovely type #3 in Wick railway station this afternoon. Type 3 - Nice Never had a sh*t at wick station before. Edinburgh Waverly has to be my favourite for a sh*t. Think its 30p now but its worth every penny. Nice modern cubicle, and big funcy wooden doors. Cleaned half hourly, touch sensitive soap dispensers and the mother of all dyson hand driers. Charging for a sh*t keeps the riff-raff out. - My only complaint about waverly would be the quality of the toilet paper. The density is like 0.01 gsm i like at least 30 - preferably with some kind of aloe vera finish. Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Does it go by size or weight, to determine how many stamps you need? Na na - its freepost the NHS pays for it. Link to comment
Miglo don Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Have been eating kingsmill seeded loaf and when I am wiping my arse after I jobby fucking seeds come falling out on to the floor, mental, don't taste quite as nice second time around! Link to comment
ollie1903 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Na na - its freepost the NHS pays for it.Do you mail it to a certain po(o) box? Link to comment
granite sheep Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Fried egg sarnie for breakfast, cous cous mixed wi baked beans for lunch, and duck and veg in orange sauce wi egg fried rice. Nae dump today so far so I predict that King Kong's finger shall exit my hoop the morn... Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Do you mail it to a certain po(o) box? Yeh P.O. box ''Number 2'' Wouldn't fancy being the postie who has the unenviable jobbie of delivering it. You wrap it in a special polymer bag so no stink can get out. C@nt wa ken fit it is he's delivering. Link to comment
granite sheep Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Aye, in fact I'm considering phoning Kim Jong Il the morn to see fit price he'll gie me for a bottle o the resulting miasma.... Link to comment
bonzodaddy73 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Type 3 - Nice Never had a sh*t at wick station before. Edinburgh Waverly has to be my favourite for a sh*t. Think its 30p now but its worth every penny. Nice modern cubicle, and big funcy wooden doors. Cleaned half hourly, touch sensitive soap dispensers and the mother of all dyson hand driers. Charging for a sh*t keeps the riff-raff out. - My only complaint about waverly would be the quality of the toilet paper. The density is like 0.01 gsm i like at least 30 - preferably with some kind of aloe vera finish.I used the staff bogs!Bit of string that you loop round a nail hammered into the wall to lock the door.Railway issue blue roll was the only wiping material available. Then flushed the bog which had the biggest cistern in the world. Probably still flushing 6 hours later. Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 I used the staff bogs!Bit of string that you loop round a nail hammered into the wall to lock the door.Railway issue blue roll was the only wiping material available. Then flushed the bog which had the biggest cistern in the world. Probably still flushing 6 hours later. Oh aye, that right you work on the trains eh? What happens if you need a shit whilst the train is actually on a run? Have you done your driver training? Link to comment
bonzodaddy73 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Oh aye, that right you work on the trains eh? What happens if you need a shit whilst the train is actually on a run? Have you done your driver training?I'm just a guard Bigman. Waiting for a drivers job in inverness,but there like hens teeth!But I pride myself on never baring my cheeks to a train bog. Possibly the most rancid place on earth. Link to comment
OddJob Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Ouch ya bastard. Sorry to hear that brother... Is it ileal, ileocolic or colonic? You on AI medication? :thumbs:Well according to the doctor i have mild crohns/ulcerative colitis. Have been on medication for the past 2 & 1/2 years. Link to comment
ollie1903 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Well according to the doctor i have mild crohns/ulcerative colitis. Have been on medication for the past 2 & 1/2 years.So that explains the warm smell, rising up through the air Link to comment
scotfree Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Well according to the doctor i have mild crohns/ulcerative colitis. Have been on medication for the past 2 & 1/2 years.I too have Crohns. It's fucked! Link to comment
tup Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 There is no better feeling on planet earth than thon buzz you get when you feel the first surges of a shit coming on, manna from heaven thon. If there's nobody else in the house, you can string it out for a bit longer than usual, fantastic. Link to comment
StandFree1982 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 There is no better feeling on planet earth than thon buzz you get when you feel the first surges of a shit coming on, manna from heaven thon. If there's nobody else in the house, you can string it out for a bit longer than usual, fantastic.I can spend upto 30mins reading a magazine/book or browsing the web on my phone while having a shit. Sometimes it's the only place you get any peace. Link to comment
Big Man Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 I can spend upto 30mins reading a magazine/book or browsing the web on my phone while having a shit. Sometimes it's the only place you get any peace. Amen to that... Link to comment
tup Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I can spend upto 30mins reading a magazine/book or browsing the web on my phone while having a shit. Sometimes it's the only place you get any peace. Aye, but that's while you're having the actual shit, crimping off the length, on the bog itself. I'm talking about the swimming guts, and brain sensation you get beforehand which can occur in any room in the house. Link to comment
muttondressedaslamb Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Damn, thought I could go a day without shitting but that's me just dropped the kids off at the pool. The good thing was it was a clean wiper My diet must be improving or something. Do you shit more or less if you are exercising a lot? Or does it make no difference? Link to comment
Bobby Connor Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Damn, thought I could go a day without shitting but that's me just dropped the kids off at the pool. The good thing was it was a clean wiper My diet must be improving or something. Do you shit more or less if you are exercising a lot? Or does it make no difference? Call me uptight but am a bit uncomfortable talking about my poops. I really think it's completely inappropriate for women to be chatting about their shites (even amongst friends). Link to comment
muttondressedaslamb Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Fuck off out this thread thenAnd take your shite with you I'm getting some good advice from Big Man and friends here!!!! Link to comment
Bobby Connor Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Fuck off out this thread thenAnd take your shite with you I'm getting some good advice from Big Man and friends here!!!! Only a woman would use three additional exclamation marks, but point taken. Am oot of this thread! Link to comment
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