Ideal Christmas Gifts For Hat's Posters

[looksgoodinred]

for Dayts -- a t-shirt from The Quiet LIfe

 

http://thequietlife.com/ql_store.htm

 

http://thequietlife.com/

[Henry]

 

Perfect for our resident goalkeeper expert Roberto.

[Karl Fletcher]

And for the newly returned Cheesepipes, the Raging Stallion Helmet Head Large Glass Butt Plug Black

 

Raging Stallion Helmet

 

 

holy SHIT

 

bought

 

[Ke1t]

 

There's nothing more surprising for someone than opening a beautifully wrapped Christmas present and discovering it contains a giant sex toy, designed to stretch, penetrate and destroy certain orifices. I know, because I (ill-advisedly) bought the wife a giant red dildo, complete with balls, and placed it carefully under the tree wrapped with a lovely ribbon.

 

This was before the loon came along, obviously... can't have a wee laddie racing downstairs on Christmas morning, and tearing into the presents to see what Santa has left him, then discovering a giant, red, rubber cock.

 

Some questions just can't be satisfactorily answered.

 

"Daddy. Why did Santa give me a great big rubber dong?"

 

No satisfactory answer to that one, for example.

 

Anyway, the wife wasn't up for being stabbed repeatedly by something akin to a rubber horse-cock, so it sat on my desk as a permanent reminder to her that, "Hey, if you're ever up for giant, rubber horse-cock... "

 

She never was, Karl.

 

She never was.

 

Merry Christmas.

[dervish]

Did the balls jingle like sleigh bells?

[BrianFaePerth]

Anyway, the wife wasn't up for being stabbed repeatedly by something akin to a rubber horse-cock, so it sat on my desk as a permanent reminder to her that, "Hey, if you're ever up for giant, rubber horse-cock... "

 

What are ye saying here Kelt? Did she demand that it sit on yer desk, or are ye partial tae some cock fantasies while working?

[BrianFaePerth]

No to mention the fact that yer boy must wonder why daddy has a big rubber cock on his desk

[Ke1t]

What are ye saying here Kelt? Did she demand that it sit on yer desk, or are ye partial tae some cock fantasies while working?

 

Nah, I like to have a couple of tchotchkes on my desk while I'm working. There seemed little else to do with a big, red, rubber dong than stick it to the desk. Right now I have a stuffed Jesus and a Golliwog and a variety of little revolutionaries.

 

No to mention the fact that yer boy must wonder why daddy has a big rubber cock on his desk

 

Of course I took the big red cock down when the loon became mobile and was able to wander on his own accord. The stuffed Jesus reminds him of man's innate spirituality, the little revolutionaries remind him that we must NEVER allow power to become unquestioned, and of course the Golliwog reminds him that black folk look funny when you dress them up like a circus clown.

 

When he brings his first girlfriend hame I'll crack oot the dildo and tell him to wrap it for her Christmas.

 

Maybe he'll have mair luck than I did with his mother.

[BrianFaePerth]

When he brings his first girlfriend hame I'll crack oot the dildo and tell him to wrap it for her Christmas.

 

Maybe he'll have mair luck than I did with his mother.

 

Brings a tear to the eye . Such fatherly love

[Ke1t]

Brings a tear to the eye . Such fatherly love

 

I aim to be the best father possible to that loon, even if he doesn't know it right now. He'll be taught to hunt, fight, identify vulnerable chicks, and strike from the shadows with a 2 foot long red rubber cock, should the need arise.

 

Had to drag him to his Karate class the last couple of times because he wanted to play with the lassie next door instead. That's great, she can teach him to make BFF rings and daisy necklaces... then in ten years time, when the first real little thug threatens to kick his arse at school my loon can make him floral jewelry and come home crying. Fuck that... Karate till he's 10, then Krav Maga.

 

He's been going to martial arts for about a year now, and I look forward to the day he comes home from school soaked in the blood of the first kid that starts a fight with him.

 

Some right bad bastards of kids out there...

[Geoff_Tipps]

Merry Christmas 360.

 

 

 

lots of love

 

Geoff

[360]

Merry Christmas 360.

 

 

 

lots of love

 

Geoff

 

Ha ha, cheers geez.

[Henry]

 

For MT.