Jump to content

Detroit

Henry

By Henry,
in The Pub

Recommended Posts


  • Replies 221
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

spamspamspam
spamspamspam

I give it 3 months before the city turns into a scene from the walking dead.   Of course, all the zombies will be made up of wogs and coons and they'll survive on a diet of slow running, fat, racial p

tightbreeks
tightbreeks

robocop is coming true!   ocp own the cops.

Ke1t
Ke1t

I've seen nothing like Detroit outside of a war zone. Entire apartment buildings are abandoned... and not just one or two here and there, I'm talking about clusters of skyscrapers capable of housing

Ke1t Grand Master

Ke1t

Posted
Posted

Bit of excitement this morning... not petrol station related, but today we had a guy apparently being murdered by being burned to death inside a blazing car. An interesting thing about today's gruesome death is that the reporter looks like Kris Boyd pre hair transplant.

 

Link to comment
  • 2 years later...
Ke1t Grand Master

Ke1t

Posted
Posted

Anything worth visiting in Detroit?

I'll be in that neck of the woods next April.

 

Sporting events are interesting in a "This is shite compared to fitba" kind of a way.  Ice Hockey at Cobo would be my choice. Closest thing to fitba. . There's probably baseball and basketball on in April inna, but I'd avoid that. 

 

Belle Isle has wolves and drug dealers... so that's quite good if you like drugs and/or wolves. 

 

8 Mile if you want to see the hookers oot at 9 in the morning, and you can soak in the deprivation of urban Detroit while you're fucking some 400lb, black, hoor right there in the street as traffic slowly creeps past through inefficient road construction. 

 

A hundy will get you a gram of crystal meth from any one of the many purveyors of fine restricted substances who vend their wares on the corner of quite literally every city block.  Watch out for the cops, though. They often dress up like Huggy Bear in order to entrap the unwary client. Asking if they're a cop is no way to identify a cop, because contrary to popular belief they can say, "No, I'm not a cop." 

 

Pig Roasts are quite popular, but that's not till July. You'll miss that. 

 

Hey,do you like setting a motherfucker on fire?  Apparently that's a thing now. 

 

If Ghetto Tourism appeals, there is in fact a Ghetto Tour that will take you around the shittiest, most run down, godawful hellholes in the western hemisphere, and I'm not kidding. Organised tours in relative* safety are available for under a hundred bucks a pop. Haven't done it myself, but looks quite alluring. 

 

MGM Casino in Greektown, if you feel like giving all your cash to the Mafia. But the quality of hooker is better than on 8 Mile. 

 

Downtown Detroit is the closest thing to Gotham city I've seen, so if you like Batman... 

 

Hey, do you like drugs? Well, someone will try to sell you some, guaranteed. Do not, do NOT accept his offer to go somewhere quiet to transact. Do not. 

 

If you're going out on the weekend, go to Main Street in Royal Oak.  Bars, restaurants, the odd purveyor of Bondage and lacy hoo hoos are available there, and safer than downtown. No hookers. Some drugs. Recommend the Mongolian BBQ or Tom's Oyster Bar.   If you fancy a fight with a greasemonkey, or charming a local bar slut, I'd recommend Gusoline Alley.  

 

Highly recommend going to The Blue Nile restaurant in Ferndale, though. 

 

Hey, do you like guns? You're legally prohibited from firing one if you're a non-resident. Sorry. 

 

If you're interested in the more touristy stuff, then this link may be of benefit. 

 

Remember... don't wander off on your own, don't walk around Jefferson Avenue or anywhere outside of Greektown unaccompanied, don't let anyone lure you away from the busy areas, avoid eye contact with the brothers, don't approach a cop unless it's absolutely necessary, and if you do approach one make sure he can see your hands. Don't carry large sums of cash. Don't tell anyone you're only here short term, don't buy drugs from someone dressed like Huggy Bear or Tommy Chong. Don't walk around Belle Isle eating a hamburger or sausages. Don't fire off any guns. Don't pay more than a hundy for meth. 

 

But most of all, enjoy yourself. 

 

*You may not get shot, knifed, raped, robbed, or kidnapped. 

  • Upvote 1
  • Downvote 1
Link to comment
King Street Loon Grand Master

King Street Loon

Posted
Posted

Sporting events are interesting in a "This is shite compared to fitba" kind of a way. Ice Hockey at Cobo would be my choice. Closest thing to fitba. . There's probably baseball and basketball on in April inna, but I'd avoid that.

 

Belle Isle has wolves and drug dealers... so that's quite good if you like drugs and/or wolves.

 

8 Mile if you want to see the hookers oot at 9 in the morning, and you can soak in the deprivation of urban Detroit while you're fucking some 400lb, black, hoor right there in the street as traffic slowly creeps past through inefficient road construction.

 

A hundy will get you a gram of crystal meth from any one of the many purveyors of fine restricted substances who vend their wares on the corner of quite literally every city block. Watch out for the cops, though. They often dress up like Huggy Bear in order to entrap the unwary client. Asking if they're a cop is no way to identify a cop, because contrary to popular belief they can say, "No, I'm not a cop."

 

Pig Roasts are quite popular, but that's not till July. You'll miss that.

 

Hey,do you like setting a motherfucker on fire? Apparently that's a thing now.

 

If Ghetto Tourism appeals, there is in fact a Ghetto Tour that will take you around the shittiest, most run down, godawful hellholes in the western hemisphere, and I'm not kidding. Organised tours in relative* safety are available for under a hundred bucks a pop. Haven't done it myself, but looks quite alluring.

 

MGM Casino in Greektown, if you feel like giving all your cash to the Mafia. But the quality of hooker is better than on 8 Mile.

 

Downtown Detroit is the closest thing to Gotham city I've seen, so if you like Batman...

 

Hey, do you like drugs? Well, someone will try to sell you some, guaranteed. Do not, do NOT accept his offer to go somewhere quiet to transact. Do not.

 

If you're going out on the weekend, go to Main Street in Royal Oak. Bars, restaurants, the odd purveyor of Bondage and lacy hoo hoos are available there, and safer than downtown. No hookers. Some drugs. Recommend the Mongolian BBQ or Tom's Oyster Bar. If you fancy a fight with a greasemonkey, or charming a local bar slut, I'd recommend Gusoline Alley.

 

Highly recommend going to The Blue Nile restaurant in Ferndale, though.

 

Hey, do you like guns? You're legally prohibited from firing one if you're a non-resident. Sorry.

 

If you're interested in the more touristy stuff, then this link may be of benefit.

 

Remember... don't wander off on your own, don't walk around Jefferson Avenue or anywhere outside of Greektown unaccompanied, don't let anyone lure you away from the busy areas, avoid eye contact with the brothers, don't approach a cop unless it's absolutely necessary, and if you do approach one make sure he can see your hands. Don't carry large sums of cash. Don't tell anyone you're only here short term, don't buy drugs from someone dressed like Huggy Bear or Tommy Chong. Don't walk around Belle Isle eating a hamburger or sausages. Don't fire off any guns. Don't pay more than a hundy for meth.

 

But most of all, enjoy yourself.

 

*You may not get shot, knifed, raped, robbed, or kidnapped.

I've read this and after careful consideration I'll keep driving west.

Thank you for your time though sir.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...