Cash Cow.

[cow]

Hello, Cow here again.

 

Money is a language I speak. I often joke that I'm completely fluent in doshish lols! It's been a long journey as I worked my way out of council housing hell and into the golfing mecca of rural East Lothian.

 

Now I remember how difficult it is to get onto the cash ladder, how hard It is the flourish against the backdrop of Tory/Labour rule and the rising costs of living.

 

So I today are launching the May Cash Cow. A unique opportunity for posters to provide stories about how cows cash can/could change their life.

 

What are you needing cows cash for? How would you use it? How much would this mean to you?

 

At the end of the month I announce the award winners and make the transfers into the award winners accounts.

 

Good luck to everyone and yes, I'm delighted to be involved.

 

 

 

 

 

Cow.

[The Boofon]

Hello, Cow here again.

 

Money is a language I speak. I often joke that I'm completely fluent in doshish lols! It's been a long journey as I worked my way out of council housing hell and into the golfing mecca of rural East Lothian.

 

Now I remember how difficult it is to get onto the cash ladder, how hard It is the flourish against the backdrop of Tory/Labour rule and the rising costs of living.

 

So I today are launching the May Cash Cow. A unique opportunity for posters to provide stories about how cows cash can/could change their life.

 

What are you needing cows cash for? How would you use it? How much would this mean to you?

 

At the end of the month I announce the award winners and make the transfers into the award winners accounts.

 

Good luck to everyone and yes, I'm delighted to be involved.

 

 

Cow.

I have more than you but less than Paul Lawrie so for that reason, I'm out.

[E-P-K]

I have more than you but less than Paul Lawrie so for that reason, I'm out.

 

 

Same.

[CraigHill]

I think you should be mates with Millertime.

[fifered]

I think you should be mates with Millertime.

At least millertime is occasionally entertaining.

[cow]

I think you should be mates with Millertime.

 

 

I'm sorry Craighill you are an apologist and a coward. This renders everything you type as worthless.

 

Unlucks.

 

This thread is for proper people. Brave people. People basically nothing like you.

[CraigHill]

 

 

I'm sorry Craighill you are an apologist and a coward. This renders everything you type as worthless.

 

Unlucks.

 

This thread is for proper people. Brave people. People basically nothing like you.

Complete zoomer.

[cow]

Complete zoomer.

 

Your words, but yes you're not far wide of the mark. Onionist. Coward. Apologist and a Zoomer.

 

Are you okay ?

[cow]

I would like to be considered for the award please.

 

I don't know why, but recently I have wanted to watch two white girls lick ice cream off a black girls body.

 

Clearly this wouldn't come cheap as I don't know women of any colour who might oblige for free. A tub of Raspberry Ripple would also have to be purchased

 

And a scoop for scooping.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for taking the time to read my application.

 

 

Not at all Rumpus, thank you for your application. Thank you for providing a sensible suggestion.

 

Can you provide detail, how much of Cow's cash do you need?

[bonzodaddy73]

The kids fancy Disneyland Paris this year. They actually get in free so it's just me you need to pay for.

 

This be my application Mr Cow.

[cow]

The kids fancy Disneyland Paris this year. They actually get in free so it's just me you need to pay for.

 

This be my application Mr Cow.

 

 

Application accepted.

 

Entries close at 10pm on the 30th May.

[The Boofon]

 

Onionist.

Are you okay ?

What has he got against onions?

 

I don't like peppers. Does that make me a pepperist?

[cow]

What has he got against onions?

 

I don't like peppers. Does that make me a pepperist?

 

Nope. just a soft centred homosexual.

 

 

 

Cow

[paddy]

The air conditioning in my car is fucked. The compressor is seized, needs a new one. I dont like being sweaty commuting to dyce during those hot Aberdeen summers.

 

Can you help chill me out, cow?

[boboisared]

I would like to pay off my mortgage with one payment rather than the monthly ones over x amount of years.

[Derek]

My wife has 2 months to live. I want to take her shopping on livingston and then drive her around Knockhill in a McLaren road car, before going through her in a cubicle in the gents in the Knockhill cafe.

[Tommy]

My wife has 2 months to live. I want to take her shopping on livingston and then drive her around Knockhill in a McLaren road car, before going through her in a cubicle in the gents in the Knockhill cafe.

You're lucky enough as it is.

Nae chance.

[looksgoodinred]

will you be taking votes for the winning entry, Cow? or making a decision on your own?

 

if the former, i would vote for Rumpus to get his ice cream scoop. and a bucket of raspberry ripple ice cream, so he doesn't have to make do with the other stuff.

[spamspamspam]

As previously admitted on a previous thread I have a 2cm cock.

 

I would like to extend this to at least 4cm by using a combination of glue, sticky back plastic and a pigs ear. Total cost, £6.79.

 

Can you assist?

[tup]

I've always wanted a sex change but could never afford one until this incredible offer.

Cow'll Fix It.

[looksgoodinred]

are you tired of being a manly man, Tommy?

[scoutman70]

I would like to request £164 for a South Stand concession season ticket for next season. Within funding from the bank of Cow, I will be unable to afford it and will likely only be able to attend a hand full of games. This means I have something productive to do on a Saturday and can follow the mighty Dons.

[Tommy]

are you tired of being a manly man, Tommy?

I'll never tire of that.

 

And Tupster, i'm happy with the sex i have, nae need to change that.

[tup]

I'll apply for a ton so I can go out for a few pints and some pool practice.

[looksgoodinred]

I'll apply for a ton so I can go out for a few pints and some pool practice.

 

you must need a LOT of pool practice. i thought you were supposed to be good at pool?

[Tommy]

you must need a LOT of pool practice. i thought you were supposed to be good at pool?

The exception to practice making perfect i reckon.

[tup]

I am brilliant at pool as others can testify.

 

Nobody on AFC Chat is fit to beat me.

 

If someone is stupid enough to hand me £100 for fuck all I'll happily oblige them by launching a few stiffeners down my neck.

[Karl Fletcher]

I haven't gambled in four and a half years but I really miss Poker.

 

I'll take £100 to gain entry to any Poker tournament in Aberdeen and I'll split the winnings with you.

 

Made a living off poker during 06-07 but binned it when I stopped gambling.

 

By not spending any of my own money, I'm not breaching my proud 'no gambling my own money' rule.

[looksgoodinred]

I am brilliant at pool as others can testify.

 

Nobody on AFC Chat is fit to beat me.

 

If someone is stupid enough to hand me £100 for fuck all I'll happily oblige them by launching a few stiffeners down my neck.

 

or softeners. as the case may be.

[tup]

You look deranged in your latest avatar.