360 Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Redstar looks like a right 'ard bastard. Link to comment
ChutneyLove Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Here are some tips for you:1. Choose your trip wiselyTravellers in today's internet age have an amazing ability to control which route, airline, and even the type of aircraft they want. Unlike the earlier days (up until the 1990s), where you would call a travel agent and request a flight on a specific date to a specific destination and simply hope it would not be a small plane; now you can make these choices yourself. Whether it is the airline website or travel agent website such as Travelocity or Expedia etc, take your time and play around with different dates and different flight times.I recommend taking the most direct route if available (non-stop), and choosing one of the larger airlines as many people with a fear of flying feel more comfortable with the larger interior space (Airbus A330,A340,A380, or Boeing 747, 767, 777).2. Arrive at the airport early and observeLook at each plane as it takes off and see how routine the process is. Chase the plane visually until it disappears in the air or becomes a small dot in the sky, at which point you can turn your attention to the next takeoff. Imagine yourself in each of these planes, how nervous you would be when you are inside it - the speed, the sounds of the flaps, and the roaring engine. Now, think about what you are actually looking at - a smooth and ordinary takeoff which is almost boring to watch.As you observe each plane, continue to switch between these two different roles, one as an observer of a commonplace and mundane takeoff, and the other as a passenger inside that plane. Now, promise yourself that you will remember this typical scene during your flight's takeoff as if you were watching it from the waiting area.3. Pick the right seatUnless you're one of the few lucky ones who can afford to fly business or first class, the seat you will be allocated will not offer you much legroom. For the folks who fear flying, being in an enclosed space makes matters worse for them. So always try to choose a front row or exit row seat- even if you have to pay a little extra for these seats, it's well worth it. An aisle seat is also highly recommended, as it gives you the feeling of extra space.4. Wake up earlySome people might suggest having a good night's sleep before your flight, but by doing so, you'll probably stay awake for the entire duration of the flight. I recommend getting as little sleep as possible before your flight, it simply increases your chances (even by the slightest percentage) of taking a nap, and by that, shortening your flight time.5. Expect unfamiliar sounds and be realisticEvery flight will make some unfamiliar sounds, such as gear retractions or flap movement. Remember that any machine has sound, whether it was your car or dishwasher - why expect a plane not to have any? They are perfectly normal, and honestly I would be worried if the plane did not make machine-like sounds. You are not an aeronautic engineer, so when you hear an unfamiliar sound, you should expect it to be normal unless someone tells you otherwise.6. Mute the engine noiseI'm not suggesting you ask the pilot to turn one of the engines off during your flight (not a smart safety move), but you can do something about not hearing it anymore. Many fearful flyers become hyper listeners during the flight, because their brain is programmed to believe there will be some sort of life-threatening problem and will try to prove it by listening for the faintest of sounds.The best solution for this problem is to use sound cancelling headphones. Once the pilot gives you permission to use electronic devices, crank up your favourite tunes loaded on your phone or MP player, and close your eyes. See No Evil, Hear No Evil.7. Look at the flight crewWhile on the plane, look at the cabin crew. Notice how they are smiling and pleasant (well, we can only hope), but more importantly, notice how comfortable they are and busy doing their work.Obviously everything is fine and will continue to be so; otherwise these trained experts would have left the plane while they still could.8. Talk to the pilot before boardingIf you can, try to locate your pilot (they usually arrive with their crew and head towards your boarding gate entrance). Don't be shy, pilots are very nice and understanding. Tell him or her that you will be onboard their flight and you have a fear of flying. Tell them exactly what bothers you (takeoff, air bumps etc).From my personal experience in doing so, most pilots spend several minutes explaining the nature of these sounds and the reasons behind the bumps. It's so comforting to hear it from the pilot. Notice how comfortable they are when talking about these matters.9. Expect air bumpsThe biggest nightmare for a fearful flyer is usually air-turbulence. Remember this simple fact, planes do not crash because of air bumps. Another good fact to remember is the seat belt light goes on because the pilot does not want you to fall on the guy next to you, not because there is any type of flight risk.Most pilots will tell you that they try to take a slight detour (or change altitude) to avoid bump for the comfort of their passengers (not to avoid mid-air disaster). Seriously, be honest with yourself, isn't a flight so much smoother than a car ride?10. Pick calm routesThe internet can provide you with great information about expected turbulence. See which routes historically have less bumps (usually, but not always, it will be routes far away from mountain ranges or places with a high frequency of thunderstorms). A good site for this type of information is Turbulenceforecast.com.11. Find ways to make the trip seem shorterIf you sit and worry, every minute of your flight will feel like an hour. Think of your favourite time-killing product - a fashion magazine; a portable video game; the latest electronic gadget, or a relaxing book - and go get it!Don't force yourself to enjoy your hobby while the plane is hitting air bumps, though. In my opinion, it will make you more nervous. This step is most useful during smooth flying as a way to pass the time.12. Don't think about the takeoffWhat's the point of running the takeoff scenario in your head? Nothing! The more you think about it, the more worried you will be, and the more opportunities your brain will have to imagine ridiculous disaster situations. Just think about anything, absolutely anything, except the flight itself.13. Fly oftenDo more of something you fear and fear will disappear. Catch a flight when you have the time and can afford it - it's hard to do at first, but the more you do it, the quicker the fear will go away. Plus, you'll get to see new places and enjoy life. What a deal Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Does your sister have a man, tup? Does she want one for half an hour?She did last I saw her but I dinna ask about stuff like that, women change like the wind. Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Cheers Chutney. Dinna get me wrong, I will fly. But only if I really have to and there is no alternative. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 When is the hibs game? I'm on a laptop with no mouse, fucking hard going, I'm nae looking. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Flying is a piece of piss, it's crashing you need to worry about. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I'm on holiday today, thought I'd be in court later. Old habits, Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Great too see Young Dandies in club colours proud to support the Dons, how old's your loon Tup?He is seven today. Has been to 19 Dons games over the last three years. He's never seen a victory Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I hope this thread makes the Classics so we can all look back on it glassy eyed when we're at Tups loons wedding. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Happy Birthday Tups loon!!!! :Party: A great little guy, he never stopped smiling. His loon smiled a lot as well. Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Ha ha you are about three inches smaller than me. I'll pass on your regards cheers. He said he liked the cheery fat mannie, think he was talking about you. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Fuck off! I'm bending down in the photo cause I had a tongue trying to get in my lug, I towered over you min, and I'm nae fat, that's big bones. I wonder what was hiding under that cap, never saw much hair at the sides! Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Bertie and Boof walked out of Inverness station and were approached by a junkie looking for drugs at 10.30 in the morning, I walked out and no one came near, draw your own conclusions, Inverness was like dodge city, we'd have got in trouble there if we were there all day, the place looked full of minks and wasted people. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 You said you were 6 foot Tup! I need to borrow your tape measure to see how big my knob is, I reckon I'll finally breach the golden 6 inches. Link to comment
ChutneyLove Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I'm going to grow a beard for the Dundee one at New Year - there was a lack of beards in that picture. I'm 5'11". Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 No I never I said I was five foot ten, which I am. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 5 foot 2 and bald as a coot, on the bright side you and your loon will never struggle for work round about panto season. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Sorry Tup, the love in couldn't last forever, that wouldn't be fun. Hope Bluto is back in the morning so I can have some serious adult conversation. Link to comment
daytripping Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Cracking weekend though, any shy folk who were wavering about going to it or thinking of the next one really should go, don't think of it as internet strangers, it really wasn't like that, if you shoot the breeze on here it's just like that in real life but better, every man was a toff. I got chatting to Roberto on the train when we were still sober and rough from the night before, he's a good guy. If they're a good bloke or woman on here they will be in real life, that's what I learned from this weekend. Don't be scared come to the next one, Link to comment
amancalledbuck Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 This all seems like 'grooming', Dayts. I'll be keeping my wits about me, if I come to one of these shindigs. Link to comment
Guest Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Exactly what I was thinking amcb. Think I'd need to send an advance crew in first to determine the lie of the land. Link to comment
diamondsr4ever Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Couldna remember any of it. My loon told me what happened. Not good. you need to bide aff the drink min! Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 I do, but I made an exception for Saturday. Stupid stuff always happens when I drink. And Saturday was no exception. Link to comment
diamondsr4ever Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 same here....anyway fans the next one, as I'd come along with Young Diamonds if young Tup was in attendance Link to comment
ChutneyLove Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Does he have a beard? Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Dinna ken diamonds, Dundee seems to be the front runner and I think I agree with that as long as we can find a decent bar. Link to comment
Poodler Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 I don't know if it's been mentioned already but it looks like Tup has a really long right arm haha! Also Boof, you remind me of John Hassall of Libertines fame Link to comment
tup Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Wonder if Roberto got fag ash on his jacket? Looks inevitable. Link to comment
ChutneyLove Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Nae sure if I'd be happy drinking in a red, white & blue boozer. Link to comment
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