Thread O Unsolicited Life Advice

[manboobs109]

I get shy cock on occasion. Generally if I'm sober, motorway services and the likes. It's a strange affliction that can strike without warning. Some cunt was saying above about how can it just not come, it's weird, you need but it just won't come out, then you start freaking out thinking every cunt is thinking 'why is he standing not pishing?' it gets worse then you get light headed you are pushing so hard. It's brutal.

[BrianFaePerth]

I get shy cock on occasion. Generally if I'm sober, motorway services and the likes. It's a strange affliction that can strike without warning. Some cunt was saying above about how can it just not come, it's weird, you need but it just won't come out, then you start freaking out thinking every cunt is thinking 'why is he standing not pishing?' it gets worse then you get light headed you are pushing so hard. It's brutal.

It's medically proven this affliction only strikes the small cocked.

 

Too bad lads.

[Parklife]

Sometimes, when presented with 3 empty urinals, i'll deliberately choose to use the middle one, just to mess with anyone who may come to pee while i'm still there.

[BrianFaePerth]

If there was three and a guy standing on the right would you go in the middle and not to the left one?

[The Boofon]

Sometimes, when presented with 3 empty urinals, i'll deliberately choose to use the middle one, just to mess with anyone who may come to pee while i'm still there.

 

 

You struck me as a "sit down to pee" type of chat so this surprises me.

 

Cubicle pish for me if possible. (Usually because of drug abuse rather than unwillingness to pish in a urinal.)

[manboobs109]

It's medically proven this affliction only strikes the small cocked.

 

Too bad lads.

Well I'm only slightly below average so you're talking bollocks

[manboobs109]

Sometimes, when presented with 3 empty urinals, i'll deliberately choose to use the middle one, just to mess with anyone who may come to pee while i'm still there.

You're trying to hard here Parkoid

[Henry]

You're trying to hard here Parkoid

 

Similarly I thought your three husband granny chat was verging on Millertime territory. 

[Bluto10]

'shy cock' parkie son - we've been over this.

Come on now.

cubicle = small Willy in my book

[The Boofon]

cubicle = small Willy in my book

 

 

Probably why you read a book a week.

[manboobs109]

Similarly I thought your three husband granny chat was verging on Millertime territory.

Embellished slightly by implying she may have murdered them, she didn't but the rest is true. Just a shite old family joke that she did.

[Poodler]

Probably why you read a book a week.

 

 

[manboobs109]

It's a big problem

 

[manboobs109]

[Sonoftherock]

I get shy cock on occasion. Generally if I'm sober, motorway services and the likes. It's a strange affliction that can strike without warning. Some cunt was saying above about how can it just not come, it's weird, you need but it just won't come out, then you start freaking out thinking every cunt is thinking 'why is he standing not pishing?' it gets worse then you get light headed you are pushing so hard. It's brutal.

 

A friend of mine, who I've known since we were kids, has this afflication.  He has a really serious case of it too!  I never really noticed when we went out drinking as teenagers - was probably too pissed myself!  However, the first time it became apparent was when we went to T in the Park one particular year.   Once the seal was broken it was nightmare for him... we were all pissing everywhere, but everytime he needed, he had to trot off to find a cubicle!  Was unbelievable!  A terrible affliction - couldn't even go against the fences in a big paddock! 

[Parklife]

You're trying to hard here Parkoid

Yeah because i'm always trying hard on here...

[Parklife]

You struck me as a "sit down to pee" type of chat so this surprises me.

 

Cubicle pish for me if possible. (Usually because of drug abuse rather than unwillingness to pish in a urinal.)

I generally sit down to pee at home, nowhere else.

[BrianFaePerth]

Probably why you read a book a week.

 

[BrianFaePerth]

I generally sit down to pee at home, nowhere else.

Does mrs Darkie make you do that?

[Parklife]

Does mrs Darkie make you do that?

It's only you who's controlled by your Mrs, Bri. Probably due to you having to cling on to her coattails to even be allowed to reside in the nation you live in. Don't try ascribe the same situation to others.

[BrianFaePerth]

It's only you who's controlled by your Mrs, Bri. Probably due to you having to cling on to her coattails to even be allowed to reside in the nation you live in. Don't try ascribe the same situation to others.

 

[Parklife]

[Poodler]

Where's the best place you've pissed?

 

 

I still occasionally get a wave of shame for pissing on the clutha bar memorial at a cup semi/ or final when it happened.

 

 

Don't really remember it. But some people have never spoken to me since it. So it did happen.

[BillyStarkDivinHeeder]

One of my mates pished in the away dugout at the Pitt the night before a hun game. Ledge.

[Redforever86]

I pished on Pittodrie. Wasn't getting served drink under age at the broadbill bar so went to an corner shop for drink to sneak in. Bursting for a pish on the way back. 

[Parklife]

Once pished from a moving car (wasn't driving), since my mate refused to stop at a service station.

 

Edit: It didn't go very well.

[BillyStarkDivinHeeder]

@@cheesepipes has a good one about pissing in a sex shop in Berlin

[manboobs109]

You need to get new mates Parky

[Parklife]

And he judges others for using cubicles ^

 

Off you pop Parkie you wee prick

To be fair, it's not using the cubicles in public toilets that I judge you for. It's more what you get up to inside the cubicles, you George Michael wannabe.

[Parklife]

You need to get new mates Parky

You just need to get some mates.