In the News

[Ke1t]

21 minutes ago, Misers Hill said:

Early Saturday evening TV has a lot tae answer fir imo??...Jim Davidson...Jim Saville...Jim Bowen...?

Those presenters were all sexual deviants, bigots, perverts, killers, and abominations. 

Barrymore, Davidson, Saville, Edmonds, that guy who nicked booze and his wife who liked to flash her tits, et al. 

Now TV presenters are all just boring as fuck. 

Bring back the deviants, I say. 

 

[manboobs109]

I put up with a lot of drivel spoken on here but I will not accept people calling Jim Bowen a deviant.

I demand an Immediate retraction.

[Torry Tosser]

Look what you could have won.

[BrianFaePerth]

Tracy from Coventry and her speedboat 

[Fridge]

1 minute ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Tracy from Coventry and her speedboat 

It must have been the same speedboat for years, surely everyone just took the cash equivalent.

Although you would be an absolute ledge if you were nailing it down the River Dee in a speedboat.

[manboobs109]

One of my fondest childhood memories was my old man, pissed out his box on a Sunday evening shouting at Jim Bowen when he'd say "listen to Tony" before the final. He had a point, Tony just said the score.

[manboobs109]

10 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

The score being the most important aspect of the game. 

I think the point was it was as if Tony had sage words of wisdom Hanz.

[BrianFaePerth]

5 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

I saw one recently where one of the guests was this giant fat woman. The bold Jimbo says “Look at this young lady . No matter where you are in the studio you’ll be standing next to her “?

Different times 

She wasn’t from Delft was she?

[Jigsaw666]

22 hours ago, manboobs109 said:

What's the thoughts on this Rwanda thing?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-61097114

Trump move. Its Johnson appealing to the core tory support, they will lap this up. I don't see how it stops refugees from attempting to come here, not that they actually care about that. All about votes.

[BrianFaePerth]

7 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

Have you got a young lady you're tampering with?  ?

 

“Just friends”

[Torry Tosser]

Peter Kay did a great impression of him.

[Misers Hill]

8 hours ago, manboobs109 said:

I put up with a lot of drivel spoken on here but I will not accept people calling Jim Bowen a deviant.

I demand an Immediate retraction.

Your right ..he should have been included in the Sunday mob...including Harris,Norman and Took.

[Misers Hill]

UTA?

@Bad_MobbyBBC News - Both my girls have Crohn's and it's heart-breaking
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-61095187

[chief_wiggum]

1 hour ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Probably - after 10 pints (for the big one)

 

I've got Crohn's and trust me you wouldn't want to go near their arse especially if they are having a flare up, skitters and bleed awhye ?

Cant understand why the big one is still so huge, claimed on the TV her worst day was 20 odd toilet visits, when it's bad you have dramatic weight loss and a lack of appetite,  she must have started off at some weight!

[Poodler]

ever worn a nappy? 

[chief_wiggum]

37 minutes ago, Poodler said:

ever worn a nappy? 

No.... although I wish I had when I visited Busch Gardens, had to go for at least 7 shites in those stupid yank toilets with gaps everywhere and no privacy, everyone in the bog could hear my arse spluttering out skitters, and they could certainly smell the rotten guts stench. The shitting is not the worst part it's the feeling that your guts are getting ripped out with a coathanger, a shite brings a few minutes of relief from the pain. (In remission for some time now)

[Ke1t]

2 minutes ago, chief_wiggum said:

No.... although I wish I had when I visited Busch Gardens,  had to go for at least 7 shites in those stupid yank toilets with gaps everywhere and no privacy, everyone in the bog could hear my arse spluttering out skitters, and they could certainly smell the rotten guts stench. The shitting is not the worst part it's the feeling that your guts are getting ripped out with a coathanger, a shite brings a few minutes of relief from the pain. (In remission for some time now)

Two things. 

* Who the fuck designs those open plan toilet cubicles?  Do they really think people are going, "I'm desperate for a shit, but I really need random passers by to be able to watch me like I'm a fucking performing seal"

** Do you shit the bed when you have Crohns, because if you do then it would go a long way to explaining one particular 'blood and shit all over the sheets' mystery I'd quite like resolution to. 

[Redforever86]

Jist some light hearted dinner time reading. 

[Misers Hill]

3 hours ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Probably - after 10 pints (for the big one)

 

Tak er oot fir a Lamb Phal..first...?

[Misers Hill]

13 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

And a tin of figs for dessert 

 

17 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

?‍☠️

[chief_wiggum]

1 hour ago, Ke1t said:

** Do you shit the bed when you have Crohns, because if you do then it would go a long way to explaining one particular 'blood and shit all over the sheets' mystery I'd quite like resolution to. 

It's not that you become incontinent so that's your excuse fucked  the pain  would waken you long before, similiar to eating a dodgy curry and you getting violent cramps and have to get to the toilet to get rid. Sounds more like you have been raped in your sleep by mister big.

[chief_wiggum]

8 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

^That sounds shit 

i shit a lot, but never have cramps/pains 

Can you even eat curry? 

 

Now I can, 2 tablets a day and Im fine..ish, Love a phaal or a vindaloo though and I probably regret it more than most the next day.

[manboobs109]

Just get on the fish and rice cakes diet. I'd imagine you'd have big, solid turds on that.

[Don Fonte]

19 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

Just have a couple of pints no?

Fix any ailments a couple of pints likes.

Drugs are for mugs.

[NEM]

1 hour ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

Harsh ?

[chief_wiggum]

3 hours ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

Hear brother chief.

You ever shat blood on some tail while you're fucking her? 

Nah , sorry to ruin your fantasy 

[Misers Hill]

@Ke1t...I'd take my chances...no reloading...."One shot Mickey one shot"...?https://news.sky.com/story/first-prisoner-to-be-executed-in-south-carolina-in-10-years-picks-firing-squad-over-electric-chair-12590926

[Misers Hill]

23 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Fucking sick yank cunts 

I’d go with hanging 

Just checked the calendar...to see if its a leap year?.....no.....he's fucked..?‍☠️?

[Ke1t]

28 minutes ago, Misers Hill said:

@Ke1t...I'd take my chances...no reloading...."One shot Mickey one shot"...?https://news.sky.com/story/first-prisoner-to-be-executed-in-south-carolina-in-10-years-picks-firing-squad-over-electric-chair-12590926

South Carolina... they'll all be rednecks in the firing squad, which means they got their first rifle on their first birthday. 

No fear any of them are missing.

Was in the Carolinas a few years back... signs on the buildings were, and I quote, "THANK YOU FOR SMOKING" and "ARMED ROBBERY EQUALS TEN YEARS AT HARD LABOR"...  saw that second sign in a movie theatre. Apparently it's such a problem they actually need to have a specific sign and punishment for armed robbery. 

It was there they were selling possums as food. Live, possibly rabid, but dying from heat exhaustion, possums. 

But, best of all, was the Plastic Disco Clock of Mary, on sale for, presumably, Catholics who like to know what time the disco opens, but at a reasonable price. I have a picture of it... must dig it out. 

Anyway... fucking redneck central. 

They all need shot. 

 

[Misers Hill]

36 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

South Carolina... they'll all be rednecks in the firing squad, which means they got their first rifle on their first birthday. 

No fear any of them are missing.

Was in the Carolinas a few years back... signs on the buildings were, and I quote, "THANK YOU FOR SMOKING" and "ARMED ROBBERY EQUALS TEN YEARS AT HARD LABOR"...  saw that second sign in a movie theatre. Apparently it's such a problem they actually need to have a specific sign and punishment for armed robbery. 

It was there they were selling possums as food. Live, possibly rabid, but dying from heat exhaustion, possums. 

But, best of all, was the Plastic Disco Clock of Mary, on sale for, presumably, Catholics who like to know what time the disco opens, but at a reasonable price. I have a picture of it... must dig it out. 

Anyway... fucking redneck central. 

They all need shot. 

 

Crickey..that's the collage for the next DK's album right there???