BrianFaePerth Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 I used to work with an 'office banter' cunt. He was a fucking nightmare. Every time the manager appeared in the morning he'd say 'I wonder where she's parked the broomstick today' EVERY FUCKING DAY. Also managed to get in 'no sugar I'm sweet enough' whenever anyone offered him a cup of tea or coffee. Any opportunity for 'I'll have a pint of what he's had' or if he'd had the slightest accident 'and that's without a drink' He used to sing a wee song 'she was only the fishmongers daughter, she laid on the slab and said fillet' about 20 times a day. The guy was a fucking headnipper, would send round chain emails with jokes then wander round asking people if they read the email and reciting the jokes. I honestly thought about poisoning him.You worked with Bluto? 1 Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Tried it. Some boy called Pepe. Sounded pissed off.Is he willing to give you a gobble? Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Halloween, what a pile of shite. Used to just be a bit dooking for apples for bairns and guising for sweeties now grown, adult men are dressing up for it, parties, it's only a matter of time til cunts start sending Halloween cards. Fuck it all right off I say, total fucking nonsense. 2 Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 agreed.Minky yanky rubbish Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 ^^^^ It's that time of they year when you have to pretend that you're not at home. Last year we had nothing prepared and ended up giving 8 wee dudes a five pound note between them. It's hard to avoid when you've got a nipper yourself. He's too young for guising though thank fuck. We've been invited to a Halloween fancy dress/fireworks party this Saturday but I draw the line at dressing up, I look stupid enough in my normal gear. Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 People who slurp their tea/coffee Link to comment
HairyPie Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Wifey at airport half an hour ago at security point asked me to go ahead because her plane was at five past six. I asked if she had checked baggage. She said yes. So I said no, she could wait. The plane will wait if her bag is on there. Why was she late? Stupid cow. If she was tidy my decision would have been very different. Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Wifey at airport half an hour ago at security point asked me to go ahead because her plane was at five past six. I asked if she had checked baggage. She said yes. So I said no, she could wait. The plane will wait if her bag is on there. Why was she late? Stupid cow. If she was tidy my decision would have been very different. True gentleman you squire Link to comment
HairyPie Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 True gentleman you squireShe was a munter. Also, when her stuff got through security, her bag was moved to the bit where they open it up. So was mine. My bag was there for one of those random bomb swipe things. They opened her bag and she had fluids galore in there. I hope she missed her flight. Link to comment
strachanmcgheegoal Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Whilst we're on the subject though. Standing behind a saga group in an airport queue. To a doddery mannie or whiney wifie they're in their new berghaus zipped to the neck, no doubt covering their purpose bought security bum bags for pickpockets to slice open with their Stanley knives and then, to complete the look, a proper ruck sack with umpteen cross over straps, buckles and ties. Now they don't annoy me too much. No doubt I'll be old, argumentative and reeking of piss and worthers originals soon enough. BUT. They're standing next to six foot signs saying take off your bag. Take off your jacket. Take off your belt and if necessary shoes. Put them in the basket. Walk etc etc. Why do they need to be told this individually by the YTS trainee who was told his only job was feeling up fit lassies so he wouldn't need a basic grasp of English anyway, well, apart from the obvious one. Not the first flight I've missed due to 1 doddery person through the scanner every three minutes system we seem to revel in. Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 She was a munter. Also, when her stuff got through security, her bag was moved to the bit where they open it up. So was mine. My bag was there for one of those random bomb swipe things. They opened her bag and she had fluids galore in there. I hope she missed her flight.Oh ffs I hope they detained her for water boarding Link to comment
Parklife Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 ^^^^ It's that time of they year when you have to pretend that you're not at home. Last year we had nothing prepared and ended up giving 8 wee dudes a five pound note between them. Avoid having to answer the door to kids by painting "PAEDO SCUM" across your front door. 3 Link to comment
Poodler Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Avoid having to answer the door to kids by painting "PAEDO SCUM" across your front door. Amusing, keep it up Parky Link to comment
Zeus Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Folk talking about their diet all the time. Absolute fucking dullards Nae cunt cares if you've eaten 0 carbs today Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Avoid having to answer the door to kids by painting "PAEDO SCUM" across your front door. Twop twips Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Folk talking about their diet all the time. Absolute fucking dullards Nae cunt cares if you've eaten 0 carbs today Girl in work had been ill at the weekend Boasting about losing 8lbsOh dear Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Halloween..... The rise of the dead, tales of the macabre, witches brew. Its great you miserable cunts.The one day your look fits in with the rest of society Link to comment
The Boofon Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 The one day your look fits in with the rest of society Incorrect as always Brian. He dyes it white on Christmas Eve. Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Lost it straight out her shite pipe . It's not fat. Fucking hate women like her .Should have seen the look I got when I asked her if she was gonna weigh herself on Thursday when she was back eating. Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 If I wanted to hear your voice, I'd phone you Phone someone? How old are you grandad? Link to comment
Poodler Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Lungs of a 22 year old though Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Folk who tune their wireless to sports/football debate shows Have you no life?It's all just hun apologist cunts in this country anyway Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted November 1, 2017 Share Posted November 1, 2017 Your tatt's are ace min. I can only think of two, maybe the third one is shite. Three tatts and all I can think of is Total Recsll... Halloween, what a pile of shite. Used to just be a bit dooking for apples for bairns and guising for sweeties now grown, adult men are dressing up for it, parties, it's only a matter of time til cunts start sending Halloween cards. Fuck it all right off I say, total fucking nonsense. It's OTT shite here in USland. And yes, fucking Halloween cards too ffs Halloween..... The rise of the dead, tales of the macabre, witches brew.Its great you miserable cunts.I'm confused.....is it a pet hate or not? Link to comment
Henry Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 Great. Black armbands all round, and hearty round of back-slapping at how thoughtful everyone (specifically the 'Celtic family) is. No thank you. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 Pretend Aberdeen fans on Twitter trying to promote the League Cup final by calling it 'The Phil O'Donnell Final' and getting excited about it. Fuck off Begg you fucking Tim tosser. Who the fuck is he? Link to comment
mcdougall(4) Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 Great. Black armbands all round, and hearty round of back-slapping at how thoughtful everyone (specifically the 'Celtic family) is. No thank you. Undoubtedly got their eyes on an another award from fifa Minks Link to comment
The Boofon Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 An Irish singer cunt that grannies like. Just checked online. I have no recollection of him at all. Not even his death. Link to comment
Henry Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 They had a minute's silence at the Scottish Cup final between Celtic and Motherwell in 2011 for O'Donnell. He died in 2007. Seems every final they contest will be the PO'D final. Link to comment
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