What you doing today?

[sigh]

6 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Thats the spirit.

Cooking breakfast for my friend first.  Gin and ginger ale incoming by midday latest.

Terrific.

What’s his name?

cooking breakfast for a friend - either tell us it’s a bird you shagged last night if it’s gay 

Gin by mid day is a good Sunday👍

[Don Fonte]

22 minutes ago, sigh said:

What’s his name?

cooking breakfast for a friend - either tell us it’s a bird you shagged last night if it’s gay 

Gin by mid day is a good Sunday👍

I have sex with a bird a week.

Will need the gin the get through a turgid 90 minutes of football about that time.

[Dad]

36 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

I have sex with a bird a week.

Will need the gin the get through a turgid 90 minutes of football about that time.

Ach the Dons'll be as bored with the ups n dahns as we are son; a win by a crushing amount the day - eradicate the fears 👍 

 

Then - party time 🎉

[styrofoamplates]

1 hour ago, Don Fonte said:

I have sex with a bird a week.

Will need the gin the get through a turgid 90 minutes of football about that time.

[Don Fonte]

2 minutes ago, styrofoamplates said:

Shagged any nice birds lately Styro?  I'll hazard a guess not.

[Redforever86]

1 hour ago, Don Fonte said:

I have sex with a bird a week.

But you’ve never had a shag. 

[Don Fonte]

1 minute ago, Redforever86 said:

But you’ve never had a shag. 

Apart from your bum sweetcheeks.

[daytripping]

100 on the huns at 1 nil down, 225 back, thank your mamma for the rabbits, hahaha. 

[daytripping]

One of those bets you wouldn't mind if you lost, win, win.

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

Phoned Council this morning about my uplift of a double mattress enquiry I sent to them by email 5 days ago.

Spoke to a lovely, polite young lassie who said the next available date would be the 21st of November. I said politely to her "Fuck that, I'm nae waiting that long". She understood and our conversation ended.

So I proceeded to drag the double mattress down the streets towards a discreet derelict industrial skip overlooking the North Sea and disposed of said mattress in a tidy and responsible manner. Job done, free of charge 👍

Heavy, cumbersome (unbedwetted 😄) buggers of things to drag down streets, mind you.

[Poodler]

1 minute ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

Phoned Council this morning about my uplift of a double mattress enquiry I sent to them by email 5 days ago.

Spoke to a lovely, polite young lassie who said the next available date would be the 21st of November. I said politely to her "Fuck that, I'm nae waiting that long". She understood and our conversation ended.

So I proceeded to drag the double mattress down the streets towards a discreet derelict industrial skip overlooking the North Sea and disposed of said mattress in a tidy and responsible manner. Job done, free of charge 👍

Heavy, cumbersome (unbetwetted😄) buggers of things to drag down streets, mind you.

Hope nobody filmed the act for the social 

[BrianFaePerth]

Anyone got the number to the council? Eh feel like clyping

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

3 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Hope nobody filmed the act for the social 

Passed plenty of potential curtain-twitchers and sniffers on the way doon but nobody stopped to have a proper gawp, nae like the last time I responsibly disposed of items by similar means (a rain-soaked landing/staircase/lobby and kitchen vinyl and other stuff) with use of discarded wheelie-bin.

If someone does snitch on us and I get a rap at the door or a letter in the post, que sera, sera. It wouldn't be the first time a noble anonymous cunt has grassed on me or threatened to do so to the social or the local plod.

 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

9 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Anyone got the number to the council? Eh feel like clyping

How much does it cost you to phone +44 numbers, Brian, or do you put it down on company expenses?🤔

[BrianFaePerth]

1 minute ago, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

How much does it cost you to phone +44 numbers, Brian, or do you put it down on company expenses?🤔

Free of course. No one pays for international numbers any more

[BrianFaePerth]

Just now, Sooper-hanz said:

Old mattresses give me the creeps.

How is Mrs SH?

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

Just now, BrianFaePerth said:

Free of course. No one pays for international numbers any more

I do. Fuck using Facebook, WhatsApp et al. Too many folk can snoop/eavesdrop into your private calls.

[BrianFaePerth]

Just now, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

I do. Fuck using Facebook, WhatsApp et al. Too many folk can snoop/eavesdrop into your private calls.

Who are you calling overseas? Ladies in Gdańsk per chance?

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

22 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Who are you calling overseas? Ladies in Gdańsk per chance?

My brother who works in Angola.👍🇦🇴

[BrianFaePerth]

Just now, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

My brother who works in Angola.👍🇦🇴

Genuine question - do UK mobile companies not give free international calls? Over here it’s standard for all non-ethnic countries, and the UK

[CCB III]

On 10/29/2023 at 9:40 AM, Don Fonte said:

I have sex with a bird a week.

Will need the gin the get through a turgid 90 minutes of football about that time.

Few dates coming up for you man CCB. 
 

Say a prayer gentlemen. 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

53 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Genuine question - do UK mobile companies not give free international calls? Over here it’s standard for all non-ethnic countries, and the UK

No. I'm with Sky Mobile and they charge me a £1/min for phoning my brother in Angola.

When he's away now, we communicate via email unless it's a dire emergency (e.g. burst pipe upstairs which led to water flooding through the living room ceiling via the light fittings, etc.)

[CCB III]

25 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Just be yourself. 
 

Nah, don’t. 

Haha 

 

 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

27 minutes ago, CCB III said:

Few dates coming up for you man CCB. 
 

Say a prayer gentlemen. 

Preferred Bomb the Bass's (featuring Maureen) version rather than Aretha Franklin's effort.

[CCB III]

Just now, Matt Armstrong's Dog said:

Preferred Bomb the Bass's (featuring Maureen) version rather than Aretha Franklin's effort.

I genuinely put Say A Prayer by Aretha in my top 10. 
 

Is there a more beautiful sentiment? Every time I wake up I think of you and say a prayer. 
 

She's class 

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

4 minutes ago, CCB III said:

I genuinely put Say A Prayer by Aretha in my top 10. 
 

Is there a more beautiful sentiment? Every time I wake up I think of you and say a prayer. 
 

She's class 

There's no doubt about it, she is class, and your sentiments are spot on.

Just marginally prefer the other version of the song though.

Her collaboration with George Michael (I Knew You Were Waiting For Me) is an abdolute epic.👍

[Don Fonte]

43 minutes ago, CCB III said:

Few dates coming up for you man CCB. 
 

Say a prayer gentlemen. 

Good lad.

Promise them the world, fuck them, never call them again.

[BrianFaePerth]

Hmm, eh assumed the gentlemen reference were his dates. 

[CCB III]

17 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

Good lad.

Promise them the world, fuck them, never call them again.

Not my style, DF. 
 

Hoping for the middle part at least!

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

On 10/29/2023 at 9:40 AM, Don Fonte said:

I have sex with a bird a week.

Will need the gin the get through a turgid 90 minutes of football about that time.

A Grampian Country frozen chicken?🐔