What you doing today?

[Edwin Starr]

9 minutes ago, Betty Swallicks said:

Falling oot a loft hatch (ha).

Going to A&E to get finger straightened.

Daft cunt. 

 

Ouch.

[Parklife]

10 minutes ago, Betty Swallicks said:

Falling oot a loft hatch (ha).

Going to A&E to get finger straightened.

Daft cunt. 

 

GAY!! 

[Misers Hill]

8 minutes ago, Parklife said:

GAY!! 

Shame @Poodlerisn't on shiift?

[Betty Swallicks]

1 hour ago, Misers Hill said:

Shame @Poodlerisn't on shiift?

Female nurse (she wasn't wearing clogs). 

Injected pain killer worn off noo, stooning!

Serves me right for doing some actual work. Note to self, never leave the office.

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

Soft lad.

[sheepcrooky]

2 hours ago, Betty Swallicks said:

Falling oot a loft hatch (ha).

Going to A&E to get finger straightened.

Daft cunt. 

 

Was it your whole finger ?

[Redforever86]

9 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

How the fuck did you manage to fall through a hatch? That's the numero uno thing to avoid doing whilst in a loft. (That and going through an unfloored surface. ) Unlucky you never broke your neck.

That’s not very nice. 

[CCB III]

Just unclogged our shitty toilet on a hangover. 
 

Proper mannies stuff. 
 

Toilet wipes that aren't for flushing, con artists. 

[Poodler]

3 hours ago, Betty Swallicks said:

Female nurse (she wasn't wearing clogs). 

Injected pain killer worn off noo, stooning!

Serves me right for doing some actual work. Note to self, never leave the office.

A sore finger ????

Hope it’s nae your wanking hand bud 

[cheesepipes]

1 hour ago, CCB III said:

Just unclogged our shitty toilet on a hangover. 
 

Proper mannies stuff. 
 

Toilet wipes that aren't for flushing, con artists. 

Just a casual fresh build up in the bog or a 3 feet deep manhole that's been building for months.

2 completely separate incidents let me tell you!

[CCB III]

1 minute ago, cheesepipes said:

Just a casual fresh build up in the bog or a 3 feet deep manhole that's been building for months.

2 completely separate incidents let me tell you!

Fresh build up. Having a hairy asshole has its downside, need to use umpteen wipes. 
 

The swimming turds were really, really really grim. 
 

Saved £80 on a plumber though.

 

Im proud of myself  
 

 

[CCB III]

7 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Did any of the turds belong to someone else? THAT is grim

Mine, I believe. 
 

Still grim.

[cheesepipes]

I plunged a pissy smelly storm drain and then ended up with about a 1000 litres of shit on my driveway. 

I wasn't going to let it beat me.

Once you get sparked in the face with the shitty liquid once you're all in.

Once the blockage (wipes) eventually moved I had the feeling I can only imagine the caveman who first made fire felt.

[CCB III]

13 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

I plunged a pissy smelly storm drain and then ended up with about a 1000 litres of shit on my driveway. 

I wasn't going to let it beat me.

Once you get sparked in the face with the shitty liquid once you're all in.

Once the blockage (wipes) eventually moved I had the feeling I can only imagine the caveman who first made fire felt.

Feels class, aye. A meaningful job done.

 

Maybe plumbing is my calling 

[cheesepipes]

Once I was done a job with Dynorod didn't seem that daunting. Plus those lads have all the good gear.

Jetting nozzle connected to high pressure washer blast the shitty pipe, blockage clears, cup of tea and maybe a ride from the happy lady of the house before moving on to the next fecal adventure.

[BrianFaePerth]

10 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

facebook style posting. Aww what's up hun call me etc.., 

Is it? Wouldn’t know as eh am not on it.

Still hating them. Bunch of cunts.

[cheesepipes]

22 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

The window cleaner, the postie or even the Amazon delivery guy maybe. However ,I dont think there is a woman alive that fantasises about the  man who works in shite all day. 

Never underestimate the desire of a drunk depressed divorcé.

Watching the sweetcorn slurry getting blasted away through the blinds with a large glass of penis grigio and a John Player Special king-size.

[cheesepipes]

3 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Is it? Wouldn’t know as eh am not on it.

Still hating them. Bunch of cunts.

Just spit it out man.

[BrianFaePerth]

49 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Just spit it out man.

Nah not for the hat. Though my hatred is.

[Edwin Starr]

11 hours ago, CCB III said:

Fresh build up. Having a hairy asshole has its downside, need to use umpteen wipes. 
 

The swimming turds were really, really really grim. 
 

Saved £80 on a plumber though.

 

Im proud of myself  
 

 

You saved more than £80 I'd think

[Beachend Bootboy]

Currently sitting in a graveyard in the spittin' rain, with the dog.  Contemplating the reason for it all.  Very refreshing.

[BrianFaePerth]

Just now, Beachend Bootboy said:

Currently sitting in a graveyard in the spittin' rain, with the dog.  Contemplating the reason for it all.  Very refreshing.

Any open graves?

[Beachend Bootboy]

1 minute ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Any open graves?

No, but I did see a yummy mummy bendin' down placin' some flowers on a plot.  That's as close to a hole I've seen here?

[Beachend Bootboy]

Just now, Sooper-hanz said:

I'd have done it for £20.

I'd have given him £20 and made a scat movie.

[BrianFaePerth]

4 minutes ago, Beachend Bootboy said:

No, but I did see a yummy mummy bendin' down placin' some flowers on a plot.  That's as close to a hole I've seen here?

Poor woman. Putting flowers down for the memory of a loved one. A little sniffle and a tear in her eye. Unaware some OAP is imagining boning her.

[Beachend Bootboy]

6 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Poor woman. Putting flowers down for the memory of a loved one. A little sniffle and a tear in her eye. Unaware some OAP is imagining boning her.

Hey, I'm no OAP.  The rest is correct tho?

[Edwin Starr]

3 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

How much would you have charged to deal with Consi's turds, Buc?  I'd have thought he best part of £150.

Lol 

I don't clear chocked toilets not for any money  oh the thought of it..

 

Last time I cleared a blocked bog back in 1979 was in a solicitors office in Bon accord square , I had to put a sign on the ladies toilet door DO NOT USE 

As I was outside clearing it from the manhole .

Guess what I heard a toilet flush and if by magic a huge shit landed on my hands . I went into the toilets and told the lady there is a do not use sign but she did apologise.

 

Never again.

 

[Guest milne_afc]

We’re you remonstrating with her shit all over your hands? That’s quite a funny image. Should have wiped it on her blouse.

[Edwin Starr]

6 minutes ago, milne_afc said:

We’re you remonstrating with her shit all over your hands? That’s quite a funny image. Should have wiped it on her blouse.

Humiliating .

It stuck to my hands like ducking glue.

It was that big one to be frank.

She was desperate I guess and couldn't wait and was affa affronted.

[Ke1t]

 

4 hours ago, Beachend Bootboy said:

Currently sitting in a graveyard in the spittin' rain, with the dog.  Contemplating the reason for it all.  Very refreshing.

They're for burying deid folk.